Personal Things In English (motley collection)

Chris Myrski

Here are 5 things related with the author: Myrski Against Myrski, Conditions For Printing Of Myrski, Creative Testament Of Myrski, Open Letter To Microsoft, A Peculiar Letter To Mbarurian Embassy.

 

Chris MYRSKI. For Personal Things In English (motley collection). 2014 - 2016


The works of Chris Myrski
    Personal Things In English (motley collection)    

© Chris MYRSKI, 2014 - 2019



     Common Abstract:

     This folder contains some things related personally with the author Chris Myrski, yet this is not autobiography and the materials are made interesting for the readers. At present there are 5 things, namely: Myrski Against Myrski, Conditions For Printing Of Myrski; Creative Testament Of Myrski, Open Letter To Microsoft, A Peculiar Letter To Mbarurian Embassy In Bulgaria. There are similar folders in Russian and Bulgarian, but they differ.



 


 

 


 


PERSONAL THINGS

(conglomerate folder)

Chris MYRSKI,  2014 - 2016



 



CONTENTS (with short explanations)


Myrski Against Myrski (devastating criticism)

     [ This is as if biographical and reviewing material of all works of the author, presented in form of comic dialog of himself with his antipode. (2014) ]

Conditions For Printing Of Myrski

     [ This material is intended not exactly for readers but rather for eventual editors of the author, yet it can be of interest for some colleagues-writers. (2014) ]

Creative Testament Of Myrski

     [ This again is not for readers but for owners of sites and literary editors after his demise, though it can be interesting also for some colleagues creative workers as an untypical example of creative testament. (2014) ]

Open Letter To Microsoft

     [ This is really a letter to Microsoft, yet the concrete plea to this company is at the beginning, and later are touched many important moments for all big software companies, as also are made various software propositions of the author, then follow some jokes with the very Bill Gates, and to the end are expressed other ideas and propositions, what makes the material interesting reading for intelligent persons. As this is written first in English it will not be translated in other languages. (2016) ]

A Peculiar Letter To Mbarurian Embassy In Bulgaria

     [ Despite the funny and invented name of a country this Letter was really sent to one Embassy in my country about some insignificant small plea, but their total ignoring me is quite significant for the majority of our worldwide democratic habits in the era of Internet and emails, so important that I have spent a pair of days more in anonymizing it and inventing a heap of names and new style of verses, and even writing in this style a funny verse. (2019) ]





 

MYRSKI AGAINST MYRSKI

(devastating criticism)


 

     In every person live two people, the exact person and his (or her) alter ego, his other entity, his opposite; sometimes in a person live more personalities, yet this is by schizophrenics and we are not such. I mean that we with Chris Myrski are not such people, and I am his antipode. I, as you see, was silent until now, but: how long one can play dumb? When you listen to (i.e. read) Myrski you may come to the conclusion that he is such coryphaeus that is rarely met, but the truth is that he is just an impostor, I'll tell you. I will tell you this if he allows me, of course, for he as if has promised but who knows ...

     — Don't worry, Myrski, you can spit at me as much as you want, I will not hold your throat, you bet it. Because, in fact, the throat is also my, right?

     — Well, you see, gentlemen, he imagines that the negative publicity is also publicity, but I don't believe much in this for the reason that: where is the moral, ah? It can't be one and the same whether you are praised or are reproved, can it?

     — Surely that it can! Nowadays everything is in the publicity, but it was so also in the antiquity, when people set fire to some temples, only to become known. And whether you become known with something good or with something bad is of importance only if you are condemned, but nobody condemns me, I am idealized personality, I in some sense am not present, don't exist, I am not I.

     It is so, really, gentlemen. I exactly intended to tell you that he, when you look at him, and can say to yourself: this man is somewhere in retirement age, he has, maybe, learned something, let us listen to him, yes? And he is, well, not an youngster, this would have been an exaggeration, but he is only twenty five now, he is product of our democracy, and all what he writes about his two and a half (or, maybe, and three-quarters, ah?) tertiary educations refers to the real person, not to this pseudo-personality. The very Myrski is simply a laic, uneducated, can be said just having learned how to read and write, he ...

     — Everything is correct, Myrski, but you better don't speak about educations because will begin to praise me. I, as I have alone coined this term, and as you know perfectly well, am intelligent laic, what in my understanding means a person who simply can reason, but is a laic in the given area. I have graduated in the field of exact sciences, not in the field of politics, or linguistics, but nonetheless have significant contribution, I think, precisely in these fields. As well also in the field of poetical jokes and humoresques, where an education is not at all required. I have discussed the topic of intellect enough, yet here can be stressed that the purpose of education is to teach the people to reason, what usually is not an easy thing and in many cases can not be reached with education, and this, what is reached with it, is an ability to walk in one harness with the other educated people in their narrow field. Because of this I am not ashamed that I am a laic, and even if you will express a wish to explain to the readers that this word, although Latin, laicus, yet has to relate — but this according to Myrski, don't forget this — with Bulgarian word of Gypsy origin "layno", what means ... sh#t in English, only with this small difference that our word supposes something liquid, while the English one, which is German, Scheiße, is something sliding or shooting out. Thank you for the attention, Myrski.

     You see it, it is never possible to speak with him seriously, and even when you criticize him really devastating he always succeeds to wriggle out. And if this: I, Myrski, say this, and you, Myrski, state that, impresses you, then you just don't pay any attention to this, we converse between ourselves in this way, and have never till now got confused, ha, ha. So, well, I must warn you that he is an impostor, and you act later how you find it good. He is not at all professional in these fields and applies some own methods of proofs, which has nothing in common with the used by specialists methods, mark this. All these etymological proofs are "not worth a penny", neither in politology, nor in etymology. And he has also not sent his works to such specialists, no, he just thinks that he knows everything about everything, he is contemporary encyclopedist — this in 21st century, do you imagine it? But be it in 20th century, because he has begun to write exactly in the last decade of former century, still this is funny. I am laughing over this impostor Myrski with his pseudo-scientific methods of work. Laugh you, too, ladies and gentlemen, make him feel ashamed, it serves him right!

     — Well, have you finished your tirade? Take a bit of air, now, else you can suffocate and leave me alone to fight with this world, without "counterweight". I have begun to engage myself in politological researches for the simple reason that, with the coming of democracy, the simplicity of people have begun to stand out so clearly that it literally blinds them, and they, being unable to see anything, praise it to the left and to the right. That's it. Under the totalitarianism people dared not so boldly to show their stupidity, but now they are simply proud with it, because this as if is ruling of the people. It isn't, though, ruling of the people, it is just a way to stuff the mouth of the populace, a baby pacifier, I have spoken about this many times. The people in power are just profiting from the stupidity of common people and somebody has to open them the eyes, has not? Well, to all appearances I will not succeed to open their eyes, when they so much like to be deceived, but then I have simply found for myself an interesting intellectual occupation, because you know perfectly well that with the coming of Bulgarian democracy it as if has set itself the goal of destroying the entire Bulgarian intelligentsia, for it was pro-Russian, and, hence, corrupt, harmful, et cetera.

     — So the Bulgarian intelligentsia, especially the technical one, had only three ways out: either to retrain and get new qualification, chiefly in the sphere of commerce, what means of the cheating, or to flee abroad, if they will take you there, for there were gathered many "mice" from the sinking totalitarian "ships", or then learn to live in Western way using to your benefit the stupidity of the others. Roughly one third of those people changed their work what saved them from starvation, yet hardly has given them pleasure from the work; actually, in the first 3-4 years, and even 8-10, after the coming of democracy, the only work for "intelligent" people (it was written so in the advertisements for work) was to become peddlers, selling to the people things at their own risk, even not for fixed salary, how it is in every profession. I was not tempted by such kind of work. An another third, approximately, has fled abroad, and also now about 10-20% of Bulgarians, mainly young, work abroad, like immigrants, receiving less than the native people there and without insurance, almost illegally, for three months, then back home, then again to somewhere, but in any case this has given them several times more than if they have worked at home; I have tried to do this, but in the age of 40 nowhere have taken anybody just so as immigrant, so that I have studied one year on the West as postgraduate student (this is where from the half education comes), but the allocated money finished and I was forced to return back home. Only about one third of the intellectuals have managed to adapt to the new circumstances, but they were people, either younger than 30, or older than 50, in the year 1990, where those in between, like me, have suffered most of all. Such were the things.

     — OK, Myrski, I don't deny your excuses, but this does not mean that you must offer the people untraditional things, neither really scientific, nor real fiction, but some semi-scientific surrogates, which do not fall in any genres. This is the reason why people don't read you much, but just so, incidentally ...

     — Well, here also can be argued. Because the popular things are untraditional, but such things are necessary for the people, it is not at all easy to write scientifically popular literature, not easy because by not pretty accurate look at the things this is already not serious for known scientists, besides they have not enough tome for such things, where I, when I work not entirely in my field, although not much afar of it (in some of my Manifestos), can allow myself this, I am not such well-known "venerable" scientist, I was only a tiny cog, an usual research assistant. Yet having lived in three different states, on the "East" (for Russia is not real East), as also on the West, knowing 3-4 languages, having still different educations, am showing far from average look at the things. And on the other hand this, that I am not traditional writer, must, in my opinion, be an advantage, i.e. it depends on the viewpoint. Semi-scientific surrogates, as you express yourself, are in many cases worthwhile things, because I alone in my youth wanted to read something cynical, but nobody offered such things to me, and even now they are not offered, I suppose. ...

     — And what kind of "proofs" are these your etymological things, that begin to emerge even in your first book, in "The communism as religion", and later on, from time to time, also emerge, even in your science-fiction (in your understanding of the term) stories?

     — Well, my dear Myrski, you know that there is a big difference between the exact sciences, and the so called humanitarian or descriptive, or maybe narrative, ones, where on the place of exactness appear classifications, and the language is filled with all sorts of terminology, which is not understandable to the common people and because of this they regard such scientists as scientists. Like, for example, with the lawyers, or grammarians, or linguists, and so on. From the point of view of the exactness, as far as it can not be found in such sciences — say, in politics and politology, — the best decision is heaping of arguments, what I call "cumulative" proofs, or, putting it otherwise, piles of arguments, and the more are they the better the given thesis is defended. So that I agree that other people have spoken about the communism not in this way as I treat this topic, but, after all, I am unique, not like the others, am I not? And then I also perform some classification in this book, I try to approach the matters in their way, only more exact and unbiased, for I am not defending the communists.

     — So, and as to the etymological arguments — here you are right, this is my contribution. I allow you to speak about Myrski's method of proving with the help of words from various languages and relations between them. I can say something here, as my justification, but also as explanation. I am "justifying" myself with this, that in the epoch of loss of all moral values, which has come with the appearance of democracy, I have begun to search something on what I can catch hold, to what one can believe. And — in the style of English lords, occupying themselves with etymological researches for their own pleasure — I have decided that in the words, and chiefly between word of one and the same root, after they have "cruised" enough around the world, are hidden very important things, is hidden information about the worldview of the people from different nations, i.e. this is a way to finding of unprejudiced truth! This is, naturally, with heuristic degree of precision, this is not always so, people can err sometimes — like for example with the supposedly rotation of the Sun around the Earth — but if some idea is hidden in the words then it most probably is thought through and deeply felt, and in such case it has to be true. (And this, about the rotation of Earth, changes practically nothing in the model of judgement of the people, until they do not exit beyond its boundaries into the cosmos, or don't use in some way mechanisms which are placed in the space; the Sun again raises and sets, and so on.) This is so because the words have invented and chosen, taken from other languages, and do so all the time, the very people, not the learned grammarians — in contrast with the very grammar, which the people always try to simplify, no matter that the accuracy will suffer from this. The etymological proofs even today, when for a generation of time I have, more or less, become used to the inevitably-necessary (this is judicial terminology, if I am not wrong, or economic) stupidity of democracy, weights still a lot. This is what I can give as explanation of my etymological researches and their applying wherever only I can; this is interesting for me, carries special attraction.

     — Yes, of course, the poetical Etymological research as Appendix to the "Communism" carries some special "attraction", but it is difficult for understanding in all these languages.

     — Well, Myrski, but I wanted simply to test myself, whether I will succeed to write verses in four languages, and especially with the German I have had problems; I hope the readers will be more or less forgiving.

     — Those readers who manage to overcome it, but there are not many such readers. Yet, in the end, the Internet is not quite suitable for serious reading, especially on literary sites. So be it. And how you will excuse yourself for the invention of pentaism, ah?

     — Exactly here I have no intentions to excuse myself, I think that this is, probably, the most interesting part of the book, this is utopia and it is very logical. Well, the readers hardly try to follow attentively the course of my reasonings, yet I have made efforts, I, in principle, have taken nothing from the blue, there just isn't another way to unite together the reason and the stupidity, according to me this is a masterpiece. And I defend there for the first time the thesis — which I think is my own, i.e. that I have discovered it, although it isn't excluded that I reinvent the wheel — about this, that the atheists are believers! By God, this is an epochal work, yet the topic is unrewarding, people are fed up with it and because of this don't pay enough attention to this material. But I am not angry at them, for it was a pleasure for me to write it ...

     — Oh, Myrski, Myrski, who is interested whether it was a pleasure for you to do something or not? The readers want that there was a pleasure for them to read it, right? And were you pleased or not to write it — well, they don't give a damn about this. You have written it not for the people but for yourself ...

     — Ah, here you hit the bull's eye! Of course. I am now 25 years unemployed (because I have studied much) and it is quite clear that I will write this what gives pleasure to me. To suffer for the public can allow himself one, let us say, Shakespeare, because he was known in his time and the public went to his tragedies, yet I don't believe that he so much liked all this blood shed there, do you get it? Although he surely liked this "versing" (versare in Italian, as well also in Latin, means: to pour, twist, enter, and il verso is a verse, but here is Russian "vertet" as to rotate, too), a kind of interweaving of the words, finding rhymes. But if a creator is not known, and does not push strongly to adapt to the audience, then he must write for his pleasure, I think, per il suo diletto, in Italian, from here comes the word dilettante. So that I advocate the dilettantism in the creative work, ha, ha.

     — OK, let us take that we have finished with the "Religion". And what kind of nonsense are these "Manifestos", ah? For they look like nothing literary. But one can not say that they are silly, because there are formulas and tables in them, and quite difficult expressions, although not from the higher mathematics. People as if are afraid of them, or think that you are out of your mind.

     — Yet they read them a little. Well, these are scientific models, they are serious and scientifically sound, a significant part of them, especially those where are mathematical Addendums to them (like DDD, ZSG, and others), although at the moment they sound utopian, but on the other hand they present also sharp critique of democracy, because they give, all of them, some ideal model, without drawbacks, starting from the given in the beginning of each Manifesto initial data. The democracy, being based on delusion, is brimming with flaws, so that I have not had special problems with the choice of specific for each of them viewpoint. In my opinion this is very interesting book, but it is for people with scientific bent of mind, even not simply for such with tertiary education. Though this is true not for all of them, there are some easy for understanding of their ideas, also directly comical (like CCW, USC, FFF, CCC, and others).

     — So, but I have had no intention in the beginning to write a whole book, I have written only DDD, and for a long time have believed alone that have found salvation from the stupidities of democracy, but have given it to one intelligent person to read and have received from him an answer in the sense that this is an interesting utopia. Well, if so, said I to myself, then let me write also other such utopias, and did exactly this. Only that I thought to limit myself with the number 5 or 6. Yet later on they became more than this, and I moved to 10, and further came to dozen, and at the end they turned to be even 13, with the Addendum Hurray; there is in the end also some decent number of aphorisms about the democracy and other related with this things. If they are not taken seriously they can be read like a kind of political science fiction, or like jokes of scientist about democracy, but there are very important ideas in them, which can, really, be implemented, if desired. All the same, they, like the majority of my things, don't belong to one genre, they are between- or poly- genre — here is nothing to be done, such is my style, nonstandard.

     So, my honoured readers, by Myrski everything is nonstandard, not like by the others, so that you can, if you want, to think that he has gone mad, for this, after all, is the top of nonstandard way of thinking. — And how were "hatched" your "Cynical essays", ah, Myrski? Maybe you have to apply for Ph.D. in cynicism, ah?

     — As you pretty well know I have not specially read cynics, but I have had, still, an idea about the cynicism, each young man is interested about this topic, and I alone have been interested in it before. But I don't intend to excuse myself. What I can say is that this book I have written as if considering the public, I thought that they will like it, and have not made big error here, because it is more read than the "Manifestos", although for me it was much easier to write it. So, and as far as I have not read other cynics then it turns that this is my own cynical view at the things, isn't it? Well, it can't be said that here I have done without some (negative) intervention of a woman, who has forced me to search for cynical view at the things in order to pacify my soul, but this was known already from Ancient Greece, more precisely that when you marry there are two possibilities, either you will get a good wife and then be happy, or else will become philosopher; I have got a Russian girl, what for the Bulgarians explains everything. Id est, I want to say, that each philosopher has his Xanthippe.

     — Notwithstanding this, I have made a lot of efforts to systematize the main ideas, as well to invent some basic laws, like: these for the living matter, the principles of creation, the necessity of violence, the tendencies of evolvement of society in the future, and so on; my own are also the conclusions about the man and the woman, about the intellect, about the religion, about the justice, about the population, and other things, not to mention the Constitution of Cynicland. This is my philosophy but it is popular, it is written for everybody, it is unbiased, because I try simply to look at the world and draw conclusions, I don't moralize and don't adjust myself to anyone's views, i.e. I again serve to nobody except to the truth (in my understanding), I, as usual, am unique.

     — Good fellow, Myrski, you are the newest and the greatest philosopher of the world, who has invented his own philosophy. You, can be said, are the most intelligent ... cur, because this is it what the cynicism means, a fast movement, kinematics, like by all canis-canines, who do not lie quiet, neither well brought up, but just bark at everybody ...

     — OK, Myrski, there's no need to explain me what the cynicism means. But for me this is simply realism! By me everything is unembellished, I even the morality deduce not from moral positions, because they can be wrong, but from the harsh necessity. The cynicism is not for faint-hearted but for seeking individuals, for those aiming at the knowledge, and I offer them this knowledge on a gilded saucer. That's what I am! Well, move further because I begin to be bored by all this.

     — Further, Myrski, comes your publicistics, which is basically unpublished, but as far as it is intended for this I will not find fault with the name. There you also discover new Americas, which nobody before you have noticed, ah? All people have simply sailed and sailed for centuries in the social waters, but nobody has noticed the new world, and here comes our Myrski and there at once have emerged on the horizon new islands and continents. So?

     — I don't understand your humour, but be it so. Published is not much, about ten pieces, but in the end I have given up to send anywhere more materials, because I am non-conformist, and the more stable the democracy set foot in Bulgaria the more the people there became used to the new fables and demanded their beloved opium or delusions. But I have also here a heap of new ideas, like economic, so also social ones, and new sights at old things, and many propositions for bettering of the situation. I agree that my propositions continue to sound utopian for many people, but it is so with the reasonable ideas in our non-reasonable world. I do my duty for education of the masses, and want they alone to be educated or not remains their own business. The important thing is that my materials do not age! Now, when  there have flown more than 20 years for some of them, the ideas still remain actual, if the conditions are the same, and even if the conditions have changed then there always is present some valuable reasonable grain in them. This is generally because I approach the matters more globally, philosophically, and also scientifically in various questions, I don't bite at personalities and the intrigues of the moment, but the fact is fact — my conclusions are intransient, nearly timeless.

     — This what I can add is that my papers there are divided conditionally in 4 groups, where the main are the first two: for journals and for newspapers, and then follow ten feuilletons, and a handful of other things. The materials for journals I have not sent to journals, no, these are just more complicated things which are usually not printed in newspapers. But the journalistic things are rarely read genre and I in some sense even wonder that I am read as much as I am, more so not in my own country and as unknown — well, not widely known — writer. Either I choose interesting titles, or am really discussing the matters untraditionally, but people have begun, little by little, to search me on the sites. I am glad for the present, especially about this book. And it is also open, I add all the time something new there. Only I don't intend to write first the things in Bulgarian and then to translate them because I don't have so much time; I think to publish further only in Russian and English.

     Ah yes, dear readers, you know that Myrski is published in three languages, and even thinks to translate himself in a fourth, then in a fifth, in a sixth, and so on. You just choose the language and enjoy his inimitable genius. — OK, and what will say our genius Myrski about the folder "Social problems"? Are these things also God's revelations, ah, my dear?

     — Well, Myrski, if you were paid to spit on me you couldn't have done it better, yet nobody pays to you, alas, else there would have left something also for me. About the foreign languages. Now, you know perfectly well that I am not published in Bulgaria, while the Russians say: yes, you are welcome, you only write! Besides, the readers in Russian are, principally, about 30 times more then those in Bulgarian, so that I have oriented myself right to the Russian language, when I know it anyway. In this situation I place on Russian sites everything decently, in folders, by one paper in a file, but have decided that there is nothing wrong if I open one folder in Bulgarian language and one in English. It is pretty strange that in Bulgarian I am read nearly as much as in Russian, but it turns that there still exists affinity to the "older brother" and people have learned to search me there, or will learn it. And the English, in my opinion, just must be present, because this is so accepted, or was accepted earlier on scientific conferences (in the Eastern Bloc). Only that, being on a Russian site, I do not take visibly so much space there and publish the things by books, what reduces their number from 5 to 10 times. The forth language can also appear soon, after a pair of years, this will be German, also for extending of my reader's audience, and, surely, because I understand it, yet I am speaking in it with difficulties, so that I will have quite enough problems with it, but, on the one hand, this is the purpose of the task, to exercise myself in it, and, on the other hand, in his old age one must find for himself interesting and not very easy mental work, for the reason that the brain ages faster than the body (if there do not emerge serious illnesses).

     — So, and now about the "Social problems". These are newer things, written in the epoch of the Internet, and in them I basically chew old themes — for there is nothing new under the Sun. But they have their own style, they begin with small Abstract and end with poetical Appendix, and are formed as separate booklets. Firstly, as it should be (i.e. in my demo-critical style), are the "Democratic values", then "Search for the woman", then "Social evils", "Bulgarian survival", and the last for the moment thing is "Our inability to destroy", only that I carry for a long time in my — in our, Myrski, in our common with you — head the idea about "Bulgarian barbarism", so that let's hope that I will live long enough to express it. The titles are clear enough, for to take here time for more explanations, but the materials are in my style, i.e. philosophically-instructive and entirely untraditional. I can excuse myself only why I have put here my "Survival", which is a bit biographical, in the sense that I explain my own experience of survival in Bulgaria in democratic conditions. But there are many philosophical speculations about the proper way of living, about using of everything what is possible from the nature, and about taking care for yourself without visiting physicians, and other things, i.e. I touch important social problems there.

     — So, and what will say our unique Myrski about the folder "For all CIS people"? It is not much read so far.

     — Here something maybe is necessary to be said, because this folder has quite different character, it is intended especially for people from the former Soviet Union, or the Socialist Bloc, i.e. for the people having good knowledge of the Russian language. The idea about this arose only before 3-4 years, initially as if to stimulate the Russians to learn, or at least to try to understand, maybe with the help of computer translators, Bulgarian language, for the reason that I place a lot of poetry on Russian sites, and it, for the moment, is mainly in Bulgarian (i.e. till 2014 this, what is in Bulgarian, is roughly ten times more than that in Russian, or also in English); this is not so difficult for the Russian speaking persons, because the languages are very similar and our language is much simpler. Yet later, on the basis of my old idea about worldwide alphabet and my researches of the phonetics of all languages, I have come to the conclusion that the Bulgarian language is just the ideal language as official language for all the Slavs, and from here also for the whole world! Id est I have revived the idea of Cyril and Methodius, having given it contemporary sounding, in "Under Bulgarian banner". There is also a small letter to all citizens of CIS, to which, and chiefly to the "Bulgarian banner" the people don't pay the necessary attention. Because of this I have added also one "Angry continuation", for the posed here questions are, really, very important, and have to reach as many as possible people, to reach ... millions. Will this happen so I don't know, but I must make the necessary efforts. And in order to prevent your renewed giggling over my brilliant idea I can justify myself with this, that I have come to it because, as have said someone before me, have "stood on the shoulders of giants", i.e. the idea is my, but it is not new, I have simply applied new modification, because it has become extremely important with the entering of Bulgaria in the European Union, I have not thought about this before.

     — Ah, Myrski, the idea is not new, but it is directly crazy, i.e. a normal person will never believe in it. This is the utopia of all utopias.

     — Well, and what of it? Then I can put my candidacy for new Guinness record, maybe. Whether I know? In any case, Myrski, just imagine that the Bulgarian will become world language. Well, not in our time, this is clear, but so, approximately after half a century. Then in each town with population more than, say, 10 thousand people, will be erected monument to Myrski, and in bigger cities on each hundred thousand, approximately, will be by a monument! Then this will be more than the monuments to Lenin, could you imagine? And I with this goatee — because by brave military leaders such beards are not to be found, here the matter is in the genes, I suppose. And then the children already from the kindergartens will be led to these monuments and the teachers will show them to the children and say: "There, children, do you see that uncle with the goatee? There on the pedestal. See? Exactly such pointed beards have only great humanists, having done something important for the whole mankind. Like, for example: by Don Quixote, Lenin, this guy from 'Kentucky fried chickens', and also by Myrski. Remember him good, children." Or something of the kind. How it is, eh?

     — Oh, prankster are you, Myrski, yet so be it, you are not to be changed now. The next is the folder "Scientific feast" or PIR. What you can say about it.

     — Ah, this is also a new folder, and also in another style. I have decided to gather there my ideas which are quite scientific, or are simply not related with the politics and must not be with the piblicistics; this is my scientific folder, but not specialized, for the ideas are motley; and for the English audience has to be said that "feast" in Russian or Bulgarian is "pir" and as initials PIR stays for "Propositions, Ideas, Realizations". As far as after a pair of months I will be 65 I decided that there is no sense to keep them by myself, hoping that I will manage to win something from some of them, but must publish them just in case, so that if somebody after some time will like them, then to be able to apply them, because they (some of them) for the moment seem utopian, but nobody knows how the people will look at them after decades (and also now, but if an initiative person comes down to business). When I am "mirski" writer, what in Russian means worldwide, for the whole world, then I give them to the world, right? I hope somebody will remember about my person, if something from this folder will be implemented in reality and will bring some money, yet when I can not win something with them then even if those people will forget about me this also will not be so disturbing for me.

     — I can bet that nobody will give you a cent for them, but let them be accessible to all, in the end. OK, so we have come to your inimitable science fiction, which, surely is not real SF but just some poor imitation of it. It is not enough that there is no action at all in it, there are only monologues and dialogues on abstract themes, but in addition in it are touched etymological issues, and now about "etymological science fiction", I think you will agree with me, till the moment nowhere was a word spoken. Here the matter is again in your uniqueness, or there is something else?

     — Here I can't say that you have no reasons for protests, because this, really, is not a traditional science fiction, but I warn the readers about this already in the Foreword, and, in addition, it is not very far from different utopias. And about the etymology you are right, such things do not happen in utopias. But they may happen, after all, because I have met in Italian language books with religious science fiction. Yet, by Jove, Myrski, you know that it is difficult for me to invent conflicts between people (and also between animals — ha, ha), by me the ideas directly spring out of my head, while with the conflicts the things are bad. This is because I simply do not search them, I search solutions, right behaviour, not wrong one. My conscience rebels when somebody behaves silly, you know this. And for these reasons my stories are such. There is nothing to be done. But it exists genre "social science fiction", right? Well, I am social science fiction writer, among other things. Have we finished now, because you have quite tortured me?

     — We are moving to the end, Myrski, but are not yet there. It has left your "poetry", which is also of dubious character, because there are nursery rhymes and almost no figures in it, everything is languid and faintly. You, surely, are not another Pushkin.

     — Well, naturally. But there can't all writers be Pushkins, there are also "Myrskis", ah? Yet you are right about the nursery rhymes, I love them. In my opinion in the poetry must be present three elements: meaning, rhyme, and rhythm. May be missing one of them (say, the rhyme), even two elements, but when there are missing all three this is no more poetry, in my opinion. I value the rhyme and rhythm in 95 percents of the cases, but also the meaning, and when it is missing, or is so intricate that must be searched with a torch, so to say, I am not very pleased. My poetical style is light verse, children rhymes, yet not necessary for children, and especially comic verses and nonsenses. In the last things in principle there is no sense, but it depends how one looks at the things, because the sense in them is exactly in this, that there has to be no sense, that they sounded as if incoherent, silly, yet this has its own charm, at least for me (as well also for many Englishmen).

     — So. But for the moment my poetry is chiefly in Bulgarian. The main work in this aspect is "Motley calamburiada", then are my translations, like "English calamburiada" and "German calamburiada", but also political verses, "Smashing democratically" (in free translation of the titles, of course, and what can be translated), and verses for children, "In the Zambezy valley". It is clear that I don't intend to translate these verses, neither in Russian nor in English, it will be easier for me to compose something new in another language. What I have poetical in other languages, in Russian and English, this is only by a "Poetical notebook". But this is for the present, because in Russian I have almost finished one epochal work "Isn't it a geography?", in which the people will directly go crazy from reading limericks — they are there more than 1,700 pieces (and multiply them by 5 in order to get the number of lines)! Only that when I am writing them nearly 5 years then I will publish them for such time, i.e. once in a week by 7, or by one per day because: nothing is good when overdosed. What I will do with them after 5 years I have not yet decided, most probably I will publish them in the end, but maybe will try to sell them. Yet I don't believe in the last thing because I now need (as also all the time till now needed) somewhere about 50 US$ in a month, but nobody gives them to me, and when I will receive some pension then I will not need more money, I have nobody to leave them to.

     — Oh, Myrski, nobody will give you anything, haven't you got this till now? The Russians, and from the other CIS countries, are maybe not so poor like the Bulgarians, but when they can receive something free, in "communist" style, then they will not agree to pay for it, right? Those who pay on the sites are only adolescent teenagers — because the money is not their own — and you don't intend to come down to the tastes of the plebs, do you? So that there is no need to ask for. If you like — you write, if you want to publish on sites — do it, that is how it is.

     — As if I say something else. I even say somewhere, and this in three languages, that "How the glands of the body secrete,\ So many poets write verses, indeed.". Well, I secrete and throw them out, so that: why not to hang them on various sites? And further, reading funny poetry people will begin, little by little, to read also more serious things, beginning with "The communism as religion". I don't complain, I even lure them in this way, especially hope to do so in the future with my "Geography", because I, right, intend to finish writing in Russian and switch to English; it can appear something once in an year in Russian, but this will be so, crumbs.

     — Yeah, Myrski, why not to please your readers now with information about your future plans, what they can expect from such a genius? They surely will directly burst of interest. Come on, speak!

     — Well, I do not advise them to burst, naturally, so that I can explain something. It is that, when I am "myrski"-world writer, and when I have switched from Bulgarian to Russian in order to increase my audience, then now I switch in turn to English. But I have spoken about this, haven't I? So, this, what was left from the big things to translate in Russian, is my multi-lingual dictionary "Explain", which exists at present only in Bulgarian and nobody has seen it yet "eye in eye". I intend to translate it in Russian, only retaining the Bulgarian words as indexes, not changing them with Russian words; this will be easier for me, because this will be simply translation, not revision, and at the other hand, under Bulgarian banner or not, but in this way the Bulgarians will be in position to read it in Russian, and the Russians or from CIS countries will also benefit from this, because there is nothing bad if they will learn some Bulgarian words, which are either quite similar to the Russian ones, or else are old Slavonic and have now disappeared from the Russian language. I think about this for a long time, but my time is scarce, like I have said several times, and also, after the publication of my Urrh, which has arisen as artistic revision of this my dictionary in English, the very translation of Explain is now not so important, i.e. even if I will be hit by a car, as it is customary to say, some variant of this dictionary already exists in the Internet. Russian version, and for Internet (with some interpretation of the pages of data base, for the dictionary is organized as data base, and possibility to search in the file the words as indexes) can be expected approximately in 2016-2017. More questions?

     — So, Myrski, I got it that you are going to turn your back to the Russians in the same way as you have turned it to the Bulgarians, and then maybe will turn it also to the English speaking and will look at the ... Chinese, ah? And what are you intending to write in English, if this isn't a secret for your not many readers?

     — Well, maybe it is worth explaining my readers why I have turned my back to the Bulgarians. OK, be it so. I could have exonerate myself only with this that, being a democratic dissident and staying in Bulgaria, I can simply not be officially recognized in Bulgaria and publish myself on websites there. This is so, yet there are many people by us barking at democracy, I am not the single one, so that here are also other reasons, in addition to the obvious increasing (roughly 30 times, if not more) of the number of my readers in Russian language. Here the point is that already in the end of the past century I have asked (as you know perfectly well) with a circular letter 60, if not even 80, publishing offices in Bulgaria not directly about publication, but only to send them for acquaintance some one of my, then about 10, books, which they choose from an annotated list; in result of this I have received not even one answer (strictly speaking one publishing house sent me a polite rejection, but it turned to be foreign representation, and abroad people are more cultured, although their rejection was unmotivated because I have had things also in their profile). A pair of years back, after my publication on Russian sites I have again asked about five publishing houses by us, which I counted for most important, to have a look at my things and tell me whether they want to publish something, and this time there were answers but negative — unless I want to pay myself for this, what I, naturally, do not want, even if I am in position to afford it (to educate people from my purse I don't intend, I have ... stolen by nobody, for to be brimming with money, which to want to throw before the eyes of the plebs for cleansing of my conscience, neither intend to glorify my invented personality).

     — So, and to the Russians I think to turn my back because of the language, i.e. I intend to write first in English, in the same way as I, by the way, have begun to do even in 2004 when have begun my Urrh, which I don't intent to translate or transform in Russian (I have thought in the beginning that such possibility can arise, but translation takes too much time). The allusions about Chinese I leave without comments, so that I move to my further plans. They are, principally, a secret, yet I, in all appearances, am so unique and nonconformist, that nobody will succeed to copy me sufficiently good and run ahead of me in this way, and, besides, I maybe really will leave this world soon, so that why take with me to the grave my further ideas? These are, after all, ideas, not the exact realization. So in addition to the translation of all my things (without the poetry) in English, the first three, if not more, books in German (without the poetry, publicistics, for CIS, and PIR), I intend to begin writhing, and I hope to succeed to finish roughly for 5 years, my book "Letters to the posterity", which will offer expression (or chewing) of my views to the life in general, only that this time in form of letters to invented personalities (i.e. only names), judgements in accordance with the said in the subject, in as possibly comical and shocking or cynical form. Add to this also my translation of Explain in Russian, and I think this is more than enough for the next five years, having in mind that in any case I will be forced to write also some publicistic things.

     — OK, Myrsky. And why you limit yourself only with the next fife years? Have you any plans for after this time, or not? Because your readers (the future millions, ha, ha) will burn with impatience to find this.

     — Oh, how you have bored me, my Anti. But well, I will explain this, though in my age five years are not a few, yet I will speak more precisely. I am now 65, till 67 I think to live in order to get my pension, because according with our last laws to such people like me, who have worked little (for I have studied long time, and was a long time, i.e. I still am, unemployed), have to begin to pay pension in the age of 67 and something (and receive if on the average 3-4 years, for the reason that the average live span for men is 70 years with something). So, i.e. I think that I will live enough to begin receiving pension, for it can't be that our democracy specially destroys our own intellectuals, it just leaves them to lead miserable life. Further I think to live till the age of 69 because I ... live in 69th apartment, and this is also soixante-neuf in French, a known pose in sex, what is very heavy argument. Then further I must live up to 71 years, because I am jogging, making pushups, eating dandelion, et cetera, i.e. I am leading healthy way of life, and, besides, this is the average age for men; the round number 70 I skip for the reason that the round numbers are not beautiful, according to the ancient, as also to the contemporary but Eastern (or at least Hindu) views. That's it.

     — And still further?

     — Further I have only vague silhouettes of plans. Say, I will try to translate my "Communism" in Italian! I doubt that will succeed in this, but the challenge is big, it is worth trying. The brain must be loaded in old years, for it begins to be lazy to think. Or another consideration: I as genuine pentaist honour the number 5, and beginning with my mother language I know 4 languages, so that the Italian will be the ending fifth. Further I have an idea — the next brilliant, of course, — for creating of a new language, which I, not waiting for future descendants to do this, will call Myrskanto! This will be not only one language, like Esperanto, but an entire class of languages, for each language, yet I will begin with the English, i.e. with English Myrskanto, and the appearance of other similar languages I will leave to other my followers (what concerns the Russian then there the best Myrskanto will be the Bulgarian, as I have already said). This will be language correcting the English, which has many drawbacks, like poor verb forms, one gender for things, et cetera.

     — Ah, well, and how many genders will have the new Myrskanto?

     — Well, I can't vouch that this will happen, this is just an idea, but I want that there were ... four genders! ...

     — Ha, ha, ha,! — Do you hear this, dear readers, our Myrski intends to punish the Englishmen, as well also the Americans, etc., for this, that they use only one gender, and thinks to make them now to suffer with four grammatical genders! Really, this is matchless, ladies and gentlemen, this is super-genius, I simply have no words, I am dumb. ...

     — It is high time for you to become dumb, Myrski. I am saying that this is a rough idea, it can be not possible, here must be invented easy endings for the nouns and the verbs, and the main vowels are only 6, by Myrski, so that everything is complicated. But the idea is that the gender can be easy found by the ending, how this is in Slavonic languages, as a rule, and that one could have changed, if desired, the gender of the thing — say, the English like that their boat or ship be feminine, this is a rare exception for them, but maybe only the boats will be feminine, and the big ships will be masculine? And the fourth gender must be (if this will be possible to be done, I repeat) universal for animated things, when the gender is either unknown (say, of a dog; or of an ... aphid), or is not important (say, feminine). Such things. And here everything must be put in accordance, also in plural, and the pronouns, and all such things. Id est, I will make new grammar of the English, but retain the roots of the words, like also their awful writing. This is very interesting experiment and I feel that if Myrski will not make this, then nobody else will make it. And is necessary to give an example, to translate not a small piece of text in this language, where the ultimate test will be ... translation again of my "Communism" in Myrskanto. So that I can quietly "spend" a pair of years on this work. It will be a pretty nice load for the brain.

     — Incredible, really incredible! And if this will not be successful?

     — If I could nor succeed in this then I will spend my time with interesting occupation. But enough, let we continue further. I, surely, will want to write a pair more of thousands poetical lines in English. This is tempting and pleasing. About what — I don't know. Maybe about the aphid? Or some nonsense poem, like "Hunting of the Snark" by Lewis Carroll — who knows? What is clear for me is that more limericks I don't intend to write (except single pieces, naturally), enough, in any case nobody will excel my epochal work in Russian. And also in German I wish to write a pair of hundred, this time, lines. I don't know, when I switch to German wave then maybe I will write by little. Yet in Italian I will never try, this language I will never master in such extent, for to write verses in it. I wish, in fact, to experiment the Roman terza, yet I am not Dante, I will not succeed to write big poems, even if not in Italian; I may make a try in English, but here the point is with the choice of theme, because this is narrative rhyme, for big things. As I said, I don't know anything, for me this is distant future.

     — And how long you, Myrski, intend to live? I am, as you well understand, pretty interested in this.

     — To know I don't know but I can make guesses. With the help of jogging I may succeed to reach 81 (as I said, the round numbers I don't regard). If in 70 years I will be able to do at least 25 pushups and 1200 jumps in the corridor once a week, then maybe I will hold on for another 10 years (by 20 pushups, or even 15 is also good, and 500-600 jumps, ah?). And then further, with the help of God, I may live up to 91. And maybe even more, who knows? What I have definitely decided is that I will not live more than 100 and that's that. When the 101st year will begin then I will search ways for moving to the condition of "pure idea", so to say.

     — OK, with this about 100 years I agree entirely with you, Myrski, more then this it is not worth living, life is not worth such sacrifices. So that let us not live more. And after you exceed 70 and after your Myrskanto will it be some other serious prosaic work, or with this you will already reach your "climax", ah?

     — Well, I think for a long time to start writing science fiction novels, so that somewhere after 70, and more so after 80, I thing it will be the best time. ...

     — Ha, ha. — Do you hear, dear readers? The normal writers begin to write novels somewhere about 30-40 years of age, but your genius Myrski thinks that around 80 will be the most suitable time to begin, in order to succeed to end at 100, ah? For 20 years he can succeed to fabricate somewhere about 20 novels, maybe. — You think so, Myrski?

     — I don't see why you must mock me, but I think that when I will finish with all important things, like: to have my first "whales" (.the "Communism", "Manifestos", and "Cynicism") in four languages, having spread as much as I can (i.e. in Russian and English) the idea about Bulgarian language as world language, having invented a new language, this English Myrskanto, having translated in it my "Communism", as well having tried to translate it in Italian (after all this is an unique apologetic of communism which the very communists deny — nearly as the axiomatic proofs of Ben Spinoza about the existence of God, which the church fathers and the believers did not accept), having written as much as I can funny poetry at least in three languages, including a big assortment of various things in Bulgarian, the epochal "geographical" limerickal work in Russian, I don't know what more in English, and sundry various ideas and publicistics (pieces, so, fifty, and even more), so after all this I have every right, and even obligation, to try myself in the large genre of novels, more so of the read science fiction (no matter that my SF is not of the usual and modern nowadays type). I have long ago given birth to some vague ideas which I want to bring to an end. ...

     — Oh my Got, Myrski, don't mention, please, to the people your Samuel, you have utterly failed in this thing! ...

     — I wouldn't say so, but even if this is really so, nobody hinders me to try it again, twenty years later. And when you ask me then I will answer, it isn't good now to backpedal. So that I have the idea to continue (like also other writers before me) the idea of Jonathan Swift's "Gulliver's Travels", only this time this will be not Lemuel but Samuel, some American offspring of this family, who has got in quite strange way in the world of 23rd century, where the life is very reasonable, yet dull, there are no actions, et cetera. Well, maybe not exactly so, I have not seriously begun this work. The problems for me, as quite correctly has remarked this my Anti, are to invent fables, because interesting means generally silly, subjected to passions and delusions etc., and my logical left hemisphere of the brain rejects at once all illogical acts and behaviour. But I because of this say that after writing of all important things I can take up to writing illogical, for mass consumption rigmarole, where, naturally, will be some idea about life. It has to be some tale in the tale, it will speak this Samuel, but I am not he, yet it is probable that I will succeed to invent something. Being somewhere about 80 one can't, even if he strongly wants, to judge pretty logical, so that: let us hope that I will succeed!

     Ah, people, do you get what says our genius? That when he falls into senile marasmus only then he will be able to write fables, real literature, which he now is not able to write because his incomparably logical brain rejects it. But he already is out of his mind, isn't he? Don't you think so?

     — OK, OK, maybe yes, but maybe not. Permit me to finish. So, and then may be also another novel, of the same Samuel or not, I have not yet decided this, in which he finds himself in the world of ... birds, this will be the country Pirlipland in the distant future, where the people have already died because of their stupidity, or excess of mind, something like this. And by these birds must be three genders, what I have to think through, what will give diversity in the sex. There is also an idea about some mutated ants, who can think because they somehow (I will not say how) build live brains to which they obey. And maybe I will invent something new. Around 80 one generally stays in some condition that is somewhere in the middle between waking and sleeping, he is away from the real world, in his own invented one, what, after all, has to facilitate the process of invention, I think. And the most important moment, this will be serious challenge for the restless brain of Myrski and his incessantly thinking about the happiness of the people mind.

     — Such things, my dear few, yet for this reason valued by me, readers. So, and between this work I have to succeed to write also my Creative Testament, about this who can gain on Myrski and to whom to send the money, when he will be not in this world, yet in such way that to be accessible to all wishing to read him. And in regard of this case of Myrski against Anti-Myrski, I propose to postpone it till the time when they both will not be present, and only then to take the final decision. For the moment I think that Myrski is a phenomenon in the non-fiction literature and only the future will show am I right, or not exactly. This is everything. Amen.

     Well, OK, dear readers, let us postpone the case, but I have done my duty, I have warned you not to read him because he is not a real writer but impostor and utopist, no matter that he imagines that is "apparition of Christ (Myrski) before the (whole) world". If you like such kind of writers-not-writers then read him, and if not then curse him, as I alone do so. Because, like it is said, in cursing the truth is born.


     Nov 2014


 





 

 

CONDITIONS FOR PRINTING OF MYRSKI


 

     This material is not for the readers but for possible publishing houses, which can express a wish to print me. Not that a heap of such houses have rushed to do this, as a matter of fact till now I am not published in printed form, yet roughly once in a quarter I receive some proposition about publishing and because of this I want to explain on which conditions I would agree, for my requirements differ from those of the publishers, but maybe they will be similar to those of other authors, so that let this material serves as example also for them. These propositions, which I have received, are mainly of three kinds: the first is about issuing at my own expenses, the second is something intermediate between the first and the third kind, i.e. for purely symbolic price, and the third proposition is for serious publishing, which I have not yet received, but even if I receive I will have my additional requirements.

     Printing at my expenses I absolutely reject for the simple reason that I have ... stolen by nobody, in order to feel remorse and to pay for to educate the people — because my things are chiefly popularizing and educational (although in an interesting form, I think). One may wish to pay for issuing if he (or she) wants somehow to become famous, if he works for the image, as is said, but I am entirely anonymous author, nobody knows me (even the closest relatives), so that I have no interest to glorify myself in my old age. For this reason at my expenses I will never publish, even if I had money, which I have not (but it may spring sometime, who knows?)

     Then, to publish for some symbolical payment of the order of 10 percents or so, without mentioning from what, without contract, without specifying the number of copies, and so on, I can agree only conditionally, for a pair of things, and this by initial circulation of about 5,000 copies, for a trial, so to say. But it has to be clear that this is not a deal, this is pure exploitation of the authors, and even in Bulgaria (which country I count for barbarian) in the law on copyright is said that less than 15% of the end price should not be offered to the author, what means that it must be started from 20% and up. What concerns the publication at all, then the Internet is a publication, and I personally am quite satisfied with the possibility to place things on the websites, because in this way they became widely spread and remain somewhere, in order not to be lost (as in the antiquity has burned the library of Alexandria), and the people can make themselves copies in some form, in order to help for preservation of the materials.

     So, and the conditions which I have for publishing of my things in printed form can be divided in two groups, which I will explain in sequence, but in the end will be one more group of questions.


1. Price calculations for publishing of my books


     I think that the author must receive 1/4 from the cover price, because there are mainly 4 types of expenses, which form this price, namely: expenses on the very printing and making of the finished book, expenses in the distribution sphere, payment for the author (if more than one person, than it is divided proportionally), and reward for the publishing house as a cap, as well as for taking of the risks for issuing of the book (or searching of sponsors). In this case it turns that the author must receive 1/4 of the selling price, so that nobody else gets more than him, because the book, after all, is entirely his, all other parties are only spongers or parasites (although unavoidable). And even the very process of establishing of the price for selling of the book has to be conducted in the following way: calculated are all expenses for issuing of the book (including possible editorial and proofreading work) and these expenses are multiplied by 4 (with the precision of rounding of the sum). In the distribution sphere are usually spent from 20 to 30%, what coincides roughly with my calculations, and the cap of the house, surely, carries some risks, spends on advertisement, pays probably also for making of the very cover to some painter, so that this quarter for it is justified. But any other calculations are reduced to exploitation of the author. I personally may agree either so like I propose, or not at all.

     In addition to this by the printing must be cited also the number of copies, which earlier was shown on the books, but today the companies as if ceased to do this. The author will hardly succeed to control whether the given number corresponds with the really printed copies of the book, but there must exist some accounting documents (especially if the publishing house pays to another printing company) on the basis of which can be made conclusions. Yet the publishing house must carry the responsibility for selling of the book, for its advertisement, for its reviewing, and so on. For this reason have to be left to it these 25%, which can also fall a bit down, but this is a clear win, and even 10% are also money (for nothing, only because it takes the risk). By further stereotyped edition these percents can vary a little, but not much (usually by further edition the printing price becomes less because are used ready printing matrices), so that the wins, for the author and for the publishing house, have to grow. In any case the fee for the author must not fall below 20%, and only in the worst case, when the author is new, or for a low-read genre (for example for publicistic things, which I have and in quite decent amount), can be come to the lowest 15% for the author and by minimal initial number of copies.


2. Succession of publishing of my books


     This is typically my requirement, but it is possible that also some other author will want to apply something of the kind, because every author has his (or her) own estimation of his works, he insists more on some of them than on the others. For me I have established the next five groups, where the printing begins with the first and ends with the last, and only then, can be published all the left things which the publishing house wants; it is allowed, though, some slight changing in the order of two consecutive groups. In this connection have to be chosen also minimal initial number of copies, and then can be again published old things, for which there is demand after publishing of the other books, such moments can happen. In addition to this I will give also very short description of the character of the book, some evaluation of its volume in kilobytes, or rather characters with spaces, as also the number of pages for A5 (half of the standard page) and size of 11 pixels. The groups (which generally coincide with the ordering of my works on the websites, yet not exactly) are the following:

     a) "The communism as religion", popular study on the communism as religion, with what it differs from the other religions, through which stages it goes during its development, and some social science fiction about one new religion, pentaism, which is philosophical and atheistic religion, as well also with one multi-lingual verse about communist greetings as an appendix: number of copies from 10 to 20 K (i.e. thousands), volume of 134 КВ, size 68 pages.

     b) "Curious manifestos", a dozen of Manifestos of invented political parties, which criticize fiercely the existing democratic forms, but also propose new utopian, yet entirely scientifically sound, models (to some of which are added complicated mathematical calculations, though they are in separate addendums and are not significant for understanding of the ideas), which all are better than the existing in some aspects, and in addition to this some of them are also comical; there are two supplements to the book, too: copies 5 - 10 K, volume 366 КВ, size 180 pages.

     c) "Ten cynical essays", popular worldview, the cynicism has to be understood in the sense of unbiased and not decorated realism, the topics are about: the Creation, the woman and the man, the mankind, the intellect, the religion, the democracy, the violence, the justice, the population, and the future, plus the Constitution of Cynicland: copies 5 - 15 K, volume 465 КВ, size 205 pages.

     d) Here exist two variants, which have to be regarded as OR.

     First variant is the folder "Social Problems", in which for the moment are 5 things (but they have to become 6, so that the cited numbers have to be increased on 20%), on quite different themes (like: about the democratic values, about the women, about the social evils, about the Bulgarian survival, what is reduced to moderate and reasonable way of life and natural food, and about our inability to destroy various things), but they are united under one major title, although can be issued separately (yet then all of them) and have poetical appendixes: 5 - 10 K, volume 356 КВ, size 170 pages.

     Second variant is "Now, look here!", publicistics, but it is pretty much, already more than 1 MB, and 500 pages, so that choose alone something from it, under the title :Chosen publicistics" of the order of 200 - 250 pages, and in number of 5 - 10 K copies.

     e) Here are now three variants, on etymological themes, and also OR.

     The first is a book under the title "On a linguistic wave", where have to be the following papers: "An illiterate world" (idea about worldwide alphabet), "Reflections about the numbers" (what kind of ideas a hidden behind the numbers), and then all things from the folder "For Arabs, Chinese, and Hindus" (the best world language - there must be 3 pieces): copies also 5 - 10 K, volume approximately 250 KB, size maybe 150 pages. (Here are possible some differences according with the language, where in Russian there is a bit different, there is the folder "For CIS people", and in Bulgarian either the English or the Russian papers, but what is in Bulgarian then in this language.)

     The second variant is in English, this is the enormous "Urrh cum commentis" (impressions on etymological canvas): the same 5 - 10 K copies, volume 3.3 MB, 500 pages of smaller size letters (but it can't be shorten or split because there is an index; also the published on the Internet variant is not suitable for printing, there is another variant with added index for the keywords and cross-references to the pages).

     The third variant is in Russian, but if I will succeed to translate it in Russian, this is also very big (it seems or the order of 300 - 400 pages by size 10 pixels) multi-lingual dictionary Explain: the same 5 - 10 K copies, expected volume of about 2 MB.

     Only after publishing of all these things at least in the minimal of the given number of copies can be published other of my things by the given publishing house, which are more for mass consumption, or entirely such. Here is mainly my social science fiction "Homo Rationalis", utopian stories, yet not exactly SF, just around this: copies — any number, but initially not more than 20 K, volume 500 KB, pages 230. Also all poetry which can appear by me, after it is entirely published on the websites (in Russian around 2015 must appear one epochal book with limericks called "Isn't it a geography?", "Чем не география?", where are more than 1,700 limericks, yet its publication will continue at least up to 2020). What concerns my scientific ideas, in the folder PIR, then I think that to publish them in printed form does not make much sense, they are too motley, this is not a book. But then all my publicistics is worth issuing, and if the scientific ideas will also be added, then there will gather, possibly, about hundred papers on 300 - 400 pages, and when there are other already published things then can be thought also about this, again in 10 K copies or more.

     But this is all chiefly in English, and I am publishing also in Russian and Bulgarian, and especially in the latter I have a heap (say, about 10,000 lines) light verse, which can be issued in every country, because even in Russia or USA or Canada or Germany etc. can be found several hundred thousands, or maybe millions, people understanding this language. About the enormous book with limericks in Russian I have just said; and in English I have not much things at present but it is not excluded that later on will appear more things, because I already switch to English (and "switch out" from the Russian, as have done with the Bulgarian).


3. Other moments with my books


     The other moments reduce chiefly to this, that each printing house wins (I think) if it begins to print me, for several reasons. For one thing I am now 65, and statistically I have in my disposition not more than 10 years life, and later there will be nobody to ask for my fee. More precisely, after my demise enters into force my "Creative testament", but according with it for the publishing house will remain also 1/4 from my quarter, and in addition to this it will easy perform stereotyped editions of all what was already published, in any number of copies, and there will be nobody to watch about this. I think that this is an important argument because, no matter that my things are already 20 years old, I have emerged on Internet in the last pair of years, so that there can quietly be expected that people will continue to read me in the future, and this in increasing rate. Add to this also my work in several languages, what means different countries, where my books can be sold. This is one thing.

     The second consideration for my printing is reduced to this, that I, factually, don't want much money for myself personally, as it seems, I want it for me for the reason that the books are mine, so that the money is owed to me, yet I intend to invest the main part of the gain back in the house that publishes me! This is so because the Bulgarian democracy has taught me to live miserable, and when I finally go out on pension, I will not need much money at all, I will be quite satisfied with, say, 1,000 euro on issuing of the book, and also by 1,000 euro per year in the first 3 years of issuing of it, but if the books will follow one after the other in at least half an year (and normally one year, I think), then I maybe will not need other money except the prizing thousand euro (or, maybe, just as much more). The left money will just remain in the printing house till I require it (I suppose on a separate account, to which access will have the publishers, not I, it will still not be mine), and I will, I suppose, invest it in order to help the house to print, say, the publicistics, work in pair with the publishers.

     The simplest variant of such sponsorship can be, if I just require 12 - 15% of the invested money, and how the publishing house will use it is its own business. Another variant is if I pay the necessary expenses for printing of x books by price y (i.e. 1/4*x*y), carry the risks on a par with the publishing house (but then I will want to look in all financial documents, what is not pretty pleasant for the publishers, I suppose), for what I will receive not only my quarter as author, which will be equal to the invested money (because the selling price will be x*y, and then we take 1/4 of it, what is the same as the initial investment), but this will only restore my investment, and in addition I will want to have at least 10% (or even a bit more) of the price of the sold books (i.e. 0.1*x*y, what by invested 0.25*x*y will mean 40% of the win for me), and for the house will remain roughly 15% (what, if otherwise they receive 25%, means that their win is reduced to 60% of the expected otherwise, but the risks for the selling of these books carry I, although they are sold by the house). Something of the kind, this must be discussed with the publishers. And in the end I may sink into eternity, as is said, and the money will remain for the house, and a new one will also arise. I can require also all the money, when it is mine, but if it will be much then it will be simply not necessary for me, while more important for me is to print something more, or in another language (for assortment, and sell, for example, mainly in English, yet 5 times less also in Bulgarian or in Russian).

     In short, If I alone have had a publishing house, then I would have begun, little by little, starting with the "Religion", to print the books of this unique Myrski, in spite of the fact that he is not real fiction writer, and does not write bestsellers at all. In three languages the potential readers exceed the milliard, think about this.

     However, to state this explicitly, the copyrights remain for the author until he is alive (and later according to the "Testament"), and no one publishing house will receive exclusive rights on printing of his books; he can be printed simultaneously by several publishing houses, in various countries, be reprinted, or stop the publication by one publishing house, if he will begin not to like something; yet each potential publisher can make use of his proposition and these conditions for printing, one publishing house does not hinder the others, it simply competes with them. His author's rights, though, he transfers to nobody.

     Now, one can say that these conditions are highly untraditional and no publishing house will agree with them. Well, what of it, in this case Myrski will not at all be printed, he will be found only on the Internet, so that, ladies and gentlemen, hurry to read and copy him, because he writes for you. If you want to help him with small sums (10 - 20 euro) then help, but if you don't then it isn't necessary. He writes because he can't avoid writing, this is a necessity, like the secretion of the glands, it does not depend on him, yes? He only chooses with what interesting to occupy himself (because, say, he is now rather bored with the politics).

     Well, as if the major things are said. When this becomes necessary they have to be legally approved and the corresponding contracts with each publishing house signed, yet have in mind that the anonymity of the author is preserved also by the contracts (I can give some number, my biographical data and the photo correspond to the reality but the very name I don't intend to give out, unless it will be necessary to tell it for receiving of the money, but maybe this will not be necessary).

     So that I wait offers, if you want, the country is not important.


     Dec 2014


     P.S. 2018. As far as I have added something to my Testament I think that it is suitable to add a pair of words also here. It concerns the conditions for my printing posthumously, when I could not be able to sign the contract, but I have no rights to deprive the posterity of the opportunity to read my printed books, right? This, naturally, could be done by roughly the same conditions, about 1/4 from the cover price for me, and in the same succession of issuing and the number of copies, only that this, what is destined for me, has to be divided according with my creative Testament. Yes, but the latter is reduced chiefly to this that the Firm printing my works is bound to send 3/4 of my earnings to some Recipients, and 1/4 of my earnings are added to its earnings, so that it will feel much better to publish me posthumously. OK, be it in this way, I don't complain much; after I have gone on pension with the impossibly "high" amount of some 85 (eighty five) Euros per month (at the moment) I need practically nothing more, such sum can suffice for creative living, and I don't want to live the life of an usual consumer. So that, if everything is against my publishing while still living, I have nothing against being published posthumously. According to some of my latest calculations this moment is most probably to happen between 33rd and 36th year of the century, so that my readers can wait till this time, I suppose.


 





 

CREATIVE TESTAMENT OF MYRSKI


 

     Article 0. The purpose of this testament is to settle the questions with reading and publishing of Chris Myrski, who will be called further Author, after his death, chiefly on various websites in different countries, but also in printed form. The party that offers the people the works of the Author will be called Firm, and the party where the Firm must send the necessary percents of the profit will be called Recipient; this can happen also with the use of so called Distributive Fund (or Distributor), which will be explained below. Other terms will be explained in the process of narration of the Testament; the use of Italic font and parentheses is set by the Author. The publishing of this testament on various websites confirms that such is the will of the Author, because another person can not publish on his sites.


     Article 1. (1) The creative work of the Author (Chris Myrski, whose name is a pseudonym) belongs to all people. This means that any company or private person has the rights to copy him from where it or he (or she) wants and offer his works after his death to all wishing to become acquainted with him, provided that this party is not enriched in this way by direct usage of his works more than some minimal value, which we will call Threshold. But if the Threshold is exceeded then this party is obliged to send directly, or through some Distributive Fund, the main part of the profit to suitable Recipients in accordance with the next articles. Under direct enrichment is understood requiring of payment for reading or copying of his works, yet this, that it can increase its ranking (what can somehow be expressed also in increasing of its profits) simply by showing, offering of his works to the readers on the sites, or in another way, without requiring money specifically for this, is not counted for direct enrichment and for this it is obliged nothing to nobody, so that if a given Firm does not want to engage itself with calculations and sending of money to suitable Recipients, then it must simply not require money for reading or copying of the Author.

     (2) The copyrights of the Author are meaningful only during the Author's life, and after this time remains only the right of each Firm offering the works of the Author, as well also of the Distributor in the given country (as interested authorities), to check whether all Firms send the necessary payments to suitable Recipients. The direct heirs of the Author, and only from the immediately next generation, have the rights to pretend only for 5% of the left profit from his works, and only for the given current year (i.e. to inform the Firm in advance), which can be allocated to them from the fourth part, what will be explained in Art. 3.

     (3) The Threshold value is computed on yearly basis and amounts to one minimal monthly salary (MMS) for the whole year; if the year is not full then is computed the proportional part of MMS. In this way even Firms which require payment for the works of the Author can not be obliged to send money to Recipients, if their profits are very moderate.


     Article 2. (1) Recipients can be either official organizations or directly individuals. Sending of money to Recipients is done on yearly basis (or for proportional part of the year, if it is not full). Their characteristics are chosen in such way that the character of their activity corresponded closely to the very Author, or then that these were some charity organizations, but not companies working only for profit. In order to avoid conditions for inobjective sponsoring only of one and the same people is forbidden to send from one Firm more than two consecutive years money to one and the same person; as to the institutions this interval is maximum three years in succession. If the Firm does not know to whom to sent the necessary sums, or there is not yet formed national Distributive Fund (or the Firm does not want to use it), then better to choose by guess one or more Recipients and send by small sums, not more than one MMS per year, than send to already used persons or organizations.

     (2) Recipients institutions are most often various educational institutions, like: schools, colleges, universities, profiled such (for mathematics or exact sciences, or linguistic, or such faculties or departments), academic institutions (like national Academies of Sciences), as well also charity institutions of any nature (here is difficult to give special directions, and this is when you can't find appropriate educational institution). Here also is valid the recommendation that it is better to send the money to not quite correctly chosen Recipient, but new, different from the previous, than to sent it to one and the same organization (when can arise conditions for falsification of the spirit of the Testament).

     (3) Recipients physical persons must be roughly similar with the Author, and because of this here is necessary to apply some filters for uniqueness, impartiality, and disinterestedness of the persons, but who do their work, their civic duty, in accordance with their personal views on the things. Proposed are the following characteristics for them: age more than 40 years, education higher than one tertiary (further will be specified) but in the sphere of exact sciences (mathematics, physics, chemistry, etc.) or technical, knowledge of at least three languages including the mother one, living (and /or education) at least in one foreign country (and better in two) for more than half an year, condition without permanent job at least for half an year in an year for the last two years, interdisciplinarity of their work (i.e. between sciences, or out of their sphere of education), originality of their creative work, and impartiality of the their views. More then one tertiary education means that one has studied in more than one universities and has either two tertiary educations, or specialization for more than an year, or doctor (or intermediary) degree, and everything that is more than the first education has to have been started at least two years after receiving of the first education and in another university, i.e. there are not suitable such Recipients who have received even PhD degree but in one go and in one university, there has to be some time between the levels of education as characteristic of creative and restless nature of these people. All these criteria are pretty complicated, so that it is hardly to comply with them by every Firm, and for this reason exist Recipients organizations.

     (4) In order to characterize better the type of suitable Recipients, though, is necessary to give examples also for unsuitable persons (and from here also organizations), which are reduced to unjustified wish to show off with something foreign, i.e. bought, advertised, or unnecessary (only in the name of self-expression), not with his (or her) own ideas and achievements, people who do not work in the name of truth or the education of people, but exactly for delusion, offering to the public only this, what they want to have (not what is useful for them). Putting this otherwise, suitable as Recipients are persons nonconformists and free thinkers, yet balanced and reasonable people, who do not intend to gain only benefits with their creative work (and that is why they have to be sponsored), they can offer interesting for the people things, but interesting from the viewpoint of knowledge or intellect, not of empty passion and laughter of uneducated masses, because the Author firmly defends the thesis that the masses must be incessantly educated, this is the only way to quiet and meaningful life, but this process is very slow. The people have to be educated, yet taught to think alone, not with ready phrases and forms, this, really, is difficult to do, but this is what the people need. In accordance with this, regarding the Recipients organizations, unsuitable are professions or activities in the field of: advertisement and public relations, politics, trade and business, jurisprudence and law, as also nearly all humanitarian sciences, because they don't teach people to think, only to classify the known facts in the sphere of their activity, but also in the area of different religions, which have very good intentions, yet everything is reduced to manipulation and delusion of the masses.


     Article 3. (1) If the profits of the Firm exceed one MMS in an year (or proportional part, if the year is not full), then from them is subtracted 1 MMS (for service expenses), and the left sum is divided in four equal parts (i.e. by 25%). The first part (quarter) remains for the Firm, and the other three parts are sent to different Recipients according with the following paragraphs. By establishing of the concrete addressee can be used some Distributor, if such exists, but he should not require more than one percent of the sum for his meaning, which is not obligatory for the Firm, or if the Distributor alone distributes and sends the money then not more than two percents of this sum. For covering of these expenses must suffice 1 MMS (which we have subtracted from the profits), but if it is not enough then is subtracted from this part.

     (2) One part (the second quarter) is sent to the home country of the Author, which in this case is Bulgaria, to suitable Recipients.

     (3) The third part (quarter) is sent to suitable Recipients in the country of the Firm, which may (as an exception) happen to be the same like in the previous paragraph.

     (4) The fourth part is sent to suitable Recipients, or just to people in need, at the discretion of the Firm; if these are separate people in need then is allowed only single help. If, though, some persons can prove convincingly that they are direct heirs of the Author, then from this part are subtracted their percents according with the Art. 1.(2).

     (5) As far as Bulgaria is not, as a rule, country in which the Firm operates, then I will list some suitable Recipients organizations there, like: Bulgarian Academy of Sciences (BAS), or more concrete its Institute of Mathematics and Informatics, Institute of Robotics, Institute of Physics, Institute of Astronomy, then Sofia university "Kliment Ohridski", more precisely the Faculty of Mathematics and Informatics, Faculty of Physics, possibly also other scientific research institutes or tertiary-education institutes, then Sofia mathematical gymnasium, and other mathematical gymnasiums (as more elitary gymnasiums); in addition also medical institutes and work programs in the field of oncological diseases, heart diseases, or gerontology, and all charity organizations if it is necessary to choose further. Analogues of such organizations can be used also in the country of activity of the Firm.


     Article 4. (1) The Distributive Fund can be organized in every country, and they can be several (because there is no organization that must control this). It can be also a division of the most winning Firm (website) or the Firms can alternate in some way, in order to avoid the necessity for each of them to spend time on this. In any case, however, it has to perform its work for 1% of the sum that has to be sent, if is necessary only sending of the list of suitable Recipients, with some characteristics for every person (if concrete persons are mentioned), or 2% of the sum, if some transfer of money must be performed.

     (2) Still, it is good if in the course of time in every country, where exist Firms winning from the works of the (deceased) Author, is built such not big Distributive Fund, which, based on the knowledge of the works of the Author, his main personal data and his tastes, will elaborate each year a list of suitable Recipients in its country, as well also in the country of the Author, and gives it free to all interested Firms, so that they managed alone, if they want, under condition that they will send information to this Fund about performed money transfers. Only if the Firms will require its services also for transfer of the money then this Distributor is to take some percents for this not exceeding 2% of the sum, and then inform the Firms about the performed transactions.


     Article 5. (1) This Testament has in mind first of all Internet sites with works of the Author, which he has maintained during his lifetime, yet not only. In accordance with the Art. 1.(1) every website is entitled to copy from where only it wants some works of the Author and, performing the necessary editorial work so that the things looked decent, to offer them free or against payment, but if it receives some money, then it must obey the clauses of this Testament. The same is valid also for Firms performing printing of the Author, no matter whether they have begun to do this during his lifetime, or later than this moment, except that in this case only the part due to be paid to the Author is counted for profit in terms of this Testament and is divided (without subtracting of 1 MMS) on four parts, one quarter of it remains, too, for the publishing house, and the other parts are distributed in accordance with this document; if a new publisher, however, begins to print his books, or an old one continues to issue new books of him, then the conditions for printing are according to the material with the corresponding title. The main requirement for printing of the Author, in regard of the payment for him, is reduced to this that he has to have 1/4 of the cover (selling) price (which is divided in 4 parts).

     (2) (added in 2018) There may arise problems, however, with some sites (or Firms) that sell works of the Author by prices established before his death, but after this they will continue to win and may not be willing to take another obligations to send some money to some Recipients, because for them nothing has been changed, yet the Author does not more exist and, hence, this Testament forces new conditions. To avoid such ambiguities I decided to allow to those companies to change the prices by which the works are published, in order for them to be able to take the right decision and to choose the preferred for them behaviour, i.e.: either to give the works free at all, or to set the minimal allowed for them prices (at the moment this is about 1 US$ but this will change later) so that to expect not to exceed the Threshold and not to load on themselves other obligations, or to continue in this way (maybe even rising the prises if the books are bought). In case of exceeding the Threshold, though, or even if it is supposed that they may exceed it (when receive money) they are bound to publish each year information about the posthumous earnings of the Author and to whom they have sent the necessary sums from his part.

     (3) (added in 2018) It remains only to be cleared the moment with establishing of the death of the Author, because being anonymous this may provide some complications. I propose the simplest: if for more than one whole calender year I have been not logged at their cite (i.e. the current year is with 2, or more, higher than the year in which I have logged for last time), then they must try to get in touch with me, and if this turns to be impossible, then they are empowered to take that I am not more on this world and act according the previously said. More than this, any of my readers, having come to the suspicion that I may not be alive, but some Firm sells my works for higher than minimal prices, has the right to ask the Firm about my existence and to remind it that if I am not more alive it has to act in accordance with the Testament, and maybe lessen the prices (because my readers are interested in lower prices as possible). Let me add, though, that by this my special conditions in the Testament the Firms will in no way lose, but will rather gain, because they will have increased part of the profits from sellings (with 1/4 of the earning of the Author, according with Art. 3.(1)), plus satisfaction from doing some good deed, while otherwise they will, either send sums to accounts from where nobody can hold them, or keep the sums by themselves but not being officially allowed to use them. So that I am trying to pay attention to the interests of all parts.


     Article 6. Not


     Article 7. Not


     Article 8. Not


     Article 9. Closing remarks. (1) (added in 2018) As I have understood later, this my requiring that my works after my death belong to the people and not to some Firms or ancestors, stays close to the term "public property" (like, say, the works of Shakespeare), yet is not exactly so, because I set some Threshold to which the Firms can win free, but if above it then they have to send something to some Recipients, and also I describe some circle or possible Recipients, including educational institutions, charity organizations, and some concrete persons, what is not the case with the public property works of art. Yet in broad outlines, looked according to the spirit of my creative Testament, my works become nearly public property.

     (2) Let this Testament serves as example for other authors, not only of literary works, but also of audio-visual things, or scientific works, if they define their own suitable Recipients. This is only justified for possible users of their creative works (because they will be, chiefly, free of payment), as well also for the Firms distributing them for money, because they will, i.e. they are obliged, to send the main part of their profit to various organizations, which need financing, not only to distant relatives, who have never seen eye in eye this person. This is example of justified testament for creative persons, whose creative works can easily be copied, but at the same time have to belong to all, not only to deft Firms which issue such works and pay nothing to nobody (because is not clear legally to whom and what to send).


     Dec 2014


 





 

OPEN LETTER TO MICROSOFT



     Dear Sirs, including also the Madams, to be sure,


     0. Introduction


     This is an enormously big letter, taken as a letter, so that you don't take it in this way. I mean that the things are related, there is a cause for writing it, but there are also many accumulated for years questions and I use the opportunity to say them now, so that there are also some ideas and propositions, there are also funny things, written as if directly to the very Bill Gates, and there are also my readers about whom I have to think, so that the problems are shown a bit popularly and interesting in order to make a palatable material. And now let me give you an idea about what is here, what will allow the different categories of readers to read more carefully what is intended for them and maybe leave aside what isn't for them.

     In No 1 is the real cause for bothering of the purchasing department of Microsoft. It is more formal yet still in narrative form, to be a good reading for everybody. In No 2 is given some info about my person, which can be of use for the purchasers if they want to have a deeper look at the matter, but it is used also later in the next points; and my person, although fictitious, using a pseudonym, but is still alive and in the poorest country of European Union, in Bulgaria. Anyway, what concerns my trifling plea ends here, so that you, busy guys and girls, are not forced to read the left, you better pass it to some Microsoft bosses. Then in No 3 follow some moralizing, because you, on one hand, are good and liberal to the consumers company, yet in some aspects are not exactly this but on the contrary; this is for big "brass", the bigger, the better, or else for everybody because the morality can be made clear to all people. Then in No 4 follow some propositions of myself intended to make Microsoft even better for everybody, not only for people in wealthy countries but also for the poorest; these are principal things and surely for the strategists of the company. Then the 5th number is a letter (in the letter) to Bill Almighty, it is funny, there is even a dedicated poetry there, but it is also important or philosophical, it is not to be missed if you are not only busy members of the company. And there is even a sixth point about the future of your company coupled with the author of the letter; this is also funny, and also not to be missed, because in every joke there is a grain of truth. So that, sorry for bothering, but it is necessary to bother you (and maybe it is not off the point to explain that in Bulgarian, what is also common Slavonic, exists the verb "boda" meaning to poke, also "budja" meaning to awake, and the roots here are Sanskrit because you surely have head about Buddha, who was the Awakener).

     Well, as if this is enough as introduction.


     1. The cause for bothering Microsoft


     So, dear purchasers, the cause is simple, I use one copy of your Windows-XP for about 5 years on a Pentium-3 with 1/4 GB RAM and hard disc with 10 GB, bought second hand before about 10 years, which as to the disc more or less suffices me for text processing, but so little RAM makes terrible paging nowadays, so that I decided to buy me from my first pension a new (old) computer, this time Pentium-4 with 2 GB RAM and 40 GB hard disc, Hewlett Packard Small Form, which has to serve me until I will be called by my maker, as is said, for the "big" amount of 20 (twenty) euro (40 Bulgarian levs), what for me — but don't laugh, please, — is as much as I use to spend in a whole month for eating and drinking! And my pension (for your information) is nearly 70 euro monthly, while before this I have lived even worse receiving nothing. And when I installed the same Windows-XP, everything went well, if one does not take in consideration that there was no Cyrillic driver and no sound device at all (which things as if are to be managed with connecting to the Internet), until there emerged some message about activating of the operating system and a row with numbers to which have to be given an answer, which was unknown to me. Then after the computer stayed switched off for a week appeared some kicking sportsmen who kicks me out of the system, and forbids me even to make new installment and return to Windows-98, with which I also can do some work but there were problems with the driver for the LAN-card (if I am not wrong). And this now is not at all correct because I want to reject the installment, want to format the disc and you forbid me even this, i.e. your software product mingles with the boot block. Or maybe I can try to use some other operating system and you spoil my hard disc, where the problem is that such discs are now not to be found, they are too outmoded (yet perfect for me).

     And I can tell you also why this happened. It happened because the previous time the system was generated by one my former colleague, programmer, who retired as research assistant in one University, who is now, and for always, I suppose, simply incommunicado, for the reason that he, in addition to all his illnesses, and his psychic problems, and his alcoholism, has earned also a cirrhosis, so that he is slowly dying and does not answer his email. Such things happen when one comes near to the 70, you know.

     So that I am still working on the old platform but maintaining of emails is pretty complicated and only on one browser (Opera — let God prolong twice their days!) I can use some basic email, which after loading it works perfectly and I don't need anything newer than this, but you force me to, what is another cause to blame you. Because, you see, this Hewlett Packard is not Microsoft, and the browsers (say Mozilla) are also not you but you are those who call the tune, you are the monopolistic giant, and there is no (or nearly no) avoiding you. I can't exclude with 100 percent the possibility that the other companies (especially in our barbarian Bulgaria) hide behind your back, or wash their hands with you, but I think that you are those who are to be blamed, that you instigated this kicking away of people who are glad to use your old products and don't need newer ones, even if you can say that all this protection is done not because of some "lousy" XP, and the same Pentium-4 for the current moment, but because of really today's versions of your operating system which cost real money (I don't know how much but supposedly 100 euro or more). I personally can agree to pay for an operating system, and nearly 20 years old one, about 1/4 of the price of the hardware, what makes — ha, ha, — 5 (five) euro, if you so insist on this, only you tell me a way for sending of this money not by bank, where I will be forced to pay another about 15 euro for the sending.

     Now, I can't vouch that this my copy of XP is legally bought, but I suppose the chances are about fifty - fifty. It is possible that it isn't because we, in poor former communist countries, had the bad habit to use software illegally but we were forced to this, we simply could not have allowed us to pay your mad prices in hard currency, how I still can't do this now, so that it's a matter of urgent necessity; and, after all, we don't sell this software things to other people, we use them to do useful work. And then this can quite well be a legal copy (one of the codes are: Q3JJQ XTTV7 F7R6D 3BJY9 9RQRJ , so that you may want to check this somehow), because this my unhappy now friend, teaching various students, have become bigger snob than them (because it is so, the consumer society depends on snobs and cultivates the snobbism how it only can) for the reason that he has bought for himself some portable TV back in the old times chiefly to make a nice sight in the tram when watching its bad performance). Anyway, I can't ask him now, and I think that this is not so important because the product XP is sufficiently old to be taken seriously by the people (with the exception of such like me who are very glad to have it). (And, to give you one more example, I personally have used some Pascal translator for DOS from the year 1986 to do some modeling about the 2000 for my "Curious Manifestos" and surely have received not a cent for this, but the book become extraordinary specific.)

     So that, to cut the long story short, I beg you to tell me on Myrski's email address (or, eventually, if I will be blocked off it, on my phone: 359, for Bulgaria, + 889-101-365 , between 16 and 20 Bulgarian time) what to answer when am asked to provide the customer service representative installation ID with the numbers:

     204492 238484 808794 808334 312540 284483 899215 044272 657174 .

     Or then you can ask  www.kvantservice.com  whether they sell such computers for such funny (for you) price without operating system (to poor buyers), because they insist that are authorized representatives of your company and sell operating systems, too. There is some to be paid phone number (359-2731-088) which I have not called because they can tell me nothing that I don't know, right? I don't state that legally you are not right to defend your software products, I just beg you to do this for me, for one reason that I live in a very poor area, and for another one that I am, so to say, from the branch of programmers, and an educative person with sufficiently big auditory of readers (to what we will come in section 2). If necessary I can explain you that the begging is related with the bending of the back thrice (according to one Russian expression, в три погибели), and with the ancient Oriental rulers called begs /beks. On the other hand the word "plea" means to make oneself flat, or also to fold something, because in Bulgarian exist the word "plise", which has to be French plicet, meaning a fold on a clothe, and there is also the Italian piegare meaning to fold. Or if you want I can also make a temaneh to you, what is Turkish word known in Bulgaria meaning to bend and hit with your teme-temple-forehead the ground before you, yet I am afraid that you will not see this gesture of mine.

     But you can be pretty sure that I will never pay for some software that I don't need a price about ten times higher than the hardware, because that's how it is. I don't use bank accounts (not that I haven't, I have many, more then ten, but there a rarely more money than 100 euro in each of them, and often less) and will never buy on Internet because this is another way to spend more money (at least paying the postages), and I have the habit not to spend but to spare. So that I don't need special security measures or other excessive things, all that I can do on Internet is to: read (say, in the library of Congress), publish books and papers (at least till the moment free, i.e. receiving not a cent), exchange letters (if I can find sufficiently intelligent persons for this purpose, not for chat), listen to some (usually classic) music, maybe to watch some "movies" (which I can't for the moment with 1/4 GB RAM), and play some simple games for the speed of reaction (it is good for old people).


     2. Some personal details


     Well, as I said, this is in order to allow you to have a better look at my case, yet also to give some useful information to the readers and to your bosses, and to make you acquainted with the situation in some poor countries. But I am, in fact, two persons, where the one is the fictional (or anonymous, or pseudonymous) writer Chris Myrski, and the other is one hereditary intellectual who lives like real pauper because has studied too much for to sell things on the streets. I will clear a bit the both persons.


     a) Who is Chris Myrski? Ah, this is a world writer, because "mirskij" (or "mirskiy" for you) in Russian means world-wide, that is the reason for coining of this pseudonym. I am Bulgarian, but I know perfectly good Russian for the reason that I have studied there (my first tertiary education), and also using the English widely at least in the last 15 or so years I am publishing in three languages: Bulgarian, Russian, and English. Still, I intend to translate some things (my first three "whales") also in German, and maybe something in Italian (or maybe also in a language called English Myrskanto, which I have not yet ... invented, ha, ha). And if one asks, why is so necessary for me to work in several languages, then I will answer that this is because I am not enough read! I mean, that I do not publish in Bulgaria — I am a kind of democratic dissident, and nobody likes dissidents, right? — and the Bulgarians are barbarian enough people not to allow to the serious personalities to express their meaning if it is against the official propaganda. That's it. And because of all this I began to publish on Russian Internet sites and translated little by little, all my works (well, nearly all) in Russian, but because these people are also ... silly, generally speaking (and the Internet is not for reading of long and serious things, and I am more than untraditional writer, and not real fiction writer, etc.), then I decided to translate, first one thing, then another, and in the end, in this 2016, I translated myself also entirely in English. And now I am ready to conquer the world, not more and not less, and it turns out that this Microsoft company sets sticks in my wheels, figuratively speaking.

     Well, you are right, guys and girls, to do this, and mainly for this reason I am explaining who is Myrski, because you are entirely entitled to stop my spreading on the West. I will publish what I have in English on Russian sites, and even if I intend to work further only in English (to begin my long awaited by me "Letters to the posterity"), I can do this there and this will be the end. Because, you see, there are no real borders on the Internet, but there are preferences, like with the shops, and there will hardly begin readers from USA, or Canada, or India, China, Latin America, etc., etc., go to search me on these sites, so that I will be stopped. OK, the "ball" is in your hands or feet and you do what you want. But I can not begin to work on, maybe, 20, 30, or 50 sites all around the world from this relictual for the moment Pentium-3 with 1/4 of GB memory, and it will any moment stop to work, it is old enough.

     So that you can cast a glance at http://samlib.ru/editors/m/mirskij_h_n/ (or also at http://www.chitalnya.ru/users/chris_myrski/ ) where is a folder "English Dominion", in which I have put my things as whole books, as well also at "Scientific Feast - PIR", where are many ideas and realizations, even in the area of programming and Internet, and maybe something else (you will understand what is in English, won't you?). These are ready things for publishing anywhere around the world, because the English is used nowadays in each country. But scientific ideas are also in the whole "Manifestos", and almost everywhere, because I may not be a proper fiction writer but am not a bad popularizer, I think. And I have also a bit of poetry in English, so that you may look at it, too. And you are not bound to pay whatever for this, Myrski is generally free writer (unlike Microsoft, ah?). For the scientific ideas I can also search suitable sites around the world, but not with this my old computer platform. And there is also some SF-like stories (which are not all put even in Russian, but this will be done), which you also will exempt from the West if will not show a rapid desire to help me. If I were you I would have even sent to this impudent Myrski some old small laptop (say, 12 inches) of before about 15 years, gathering the dust somewhere in the basement of our (i.e. your) enormous company, to use it as electronic book in the bed. Yeah, but I am not you.


     b) Who is the real Myrski? Well, I will not tell you this, you have to understand that anonymous is anonymous. Yet I can describe some of my more important characteristics. So for example I say that I am intelligent laic, for the reason that I can think, I am intelligent enough, but I judge as laic about many topics that lie outside my exact educations. And as to the tertiary educations then they are two and a half, in the sphere of electronics and computer science, received in three different countries, and I know sufficiently good three and a half (the latter being Italian) foreign languages, plus my Bulgarian. So that I am not everybody. What, alas, is not so good, because in a barbarian country like Bulgaria to have studied much means to receive less than the average, to find pretty hard suitable work, to be forced to live miserably during the democratic years, such things. For example, I told you that my pension is a bit less than 70 euro, because I am practically unemployed for 26 years, and for about 16 years length of service is given as much, but I have recently calculated this pension in ... bus tickets for the city transport and this makes a bit less than 3 tickets a day for all expenses! How's this, ah, -softist boys and girls?

     Yeah, that's how it is, but, on the other hand, I can be an exception as to the education but not to the misery, because there are many pensioners with pensions less than 100 euro monthly, and the minimal pension for people with 38 years service is 80 euro only, what is said to be three times less than in Africa, in the country Gabon. Because, you see, we so desperately wanted to have not the previous people's democracy, that we have now, obviously, anti-people's democracy, that's what we have. And we have now 3 fascist parties in the Parliament, because the fascists are like the weeds, they begin to grow the moment when the cultivation is somehow hampered. And the unconsciously performed nearly genocide of the intellectuals is expressed in this that we are now on the last place in European Union according to our standard of life and everyone more or less capable person is trying to emigrate in some normal country, and who is not so highly educated is trying to work at least for a pair of months in an year abroad. If I have not been so old in 1990 I would have also lived now on the West.

     Yet I am telling you this because we are not the single poor people in the world, there are many other nations who are living worse than before, especially during this crisis years (about which I have some time back said that the crisis will end in the middle of the year ... 2022), and you just forget that such people exist. And, on the other hand, you have to be very glad that such people and nations exist because this is why you, in the wealthy countries, can say that you are living well, right? Because everything is recognized in the comparison with something else. More than this, if there were not we, the poor, to hinder the prosperity everywhere, the capitalist civilization would have already ended on the West, and so it still continues and prospers. If you doubt in this I may remind you that back in the year 1990, when the Berlin wall fell, there was a crisis, not like this now, but a crisis, then were high interests in many banks around the world (I have looked that in England, for example, they have reached 8-9 percents), so that I am not lying to you, we, the crashing of socialist bloc, delayed the crisis. And then came the Bin Laden's terrorist act which speeded the crisis. And many clever capitalists understand this and try to smooth a little the things because the business needs peace. So that everything is related and the wealthy need the poor, hence help us, because otherwise arise revolutions, you know. And Myrski feels these things for the simple reason that he is "poorer than the poorest".


     3. Preaching of moral and showing of drawbacks


     You see, my dear -softist guys and girls, sometimes you are bad boys and girls, what isn't good, and sometimes you make many wrong things and don't make the right ones. But let me proceed in some order.


     a) So even if I was pimpled drug addicted adolescent, and not a penniless old intellectual, you have absolutely no moral right to hinder my access to the Internet, to isolate me from the people and from the ... knowledge! Because this is how it is. The Internet may be used for spreading of porno and for advertising and selling of whatever, yet it is the most powerful educational means nowadays, and this is the core reason for the existing of multiple variants of Wikipedia. Without the Internet, for example, I wouldn't have known that Bill Gates is alive and smiling, and wouldn't have written my dedicated to him poetry, what would have been a big loss for him and everybody else, surely. Because the knowledge, the education of the masses is, maybe the slowest, but the surest way for making the life more peaceful, this was understood by a big number of humanist somewhere in the Renaissance, and I adhere to them. This somehow raises the spirit, makes you to be more civil to the others, this brings the people (and even the animals) up. And especially nowadays, in the period of crashing of many moral values (say, of unnecessary fighting to prove which nation is better, how the people have done at large scale at least in the World War One, or in the collapsing of the communist bloc, etc.), is simply a must to have such strong factor for communications and comparing of meanings throughout the world. And don't forget also the really amazing success of computer translators, what returns us to the old parable for the Babylonian Tower, which building becomes possible now, figuratively put.

     It is sure that people use it mostly for silly chat and for listening to modern pop music, watching of sporting events, etc., but even this is a necessity, this makes the world peaceful, really. If you want I can add also that one can find something to still his hunger, especially in well developed countries, if he looks around some ... garbage cans, but he will never find there anything to satiate his hunger for communications, am I right? Without Internet nowadays one is simply imprisoned in his soul, so to say. And don't tell me, please, that you had no such intentions, because this is what you are doing with your wish always to win, even when the old software has returned many times (I suppose) the invested in it money, and if it has not returned the money then simply stop to produce new one for some time and people will continue to buy the old software, right? And I don't see big difference (in regard of the invested money) between Microsoft Office pack (Word, Access, Excel) and some basic operating system (like Windows 98 if you like), and the Office pack is taught in schools as far as I know. So that you can as well allow free use of some of your Windows, and on the Internet (not to abolish the use of older versions, like some browsers, say, the Mozilla, do, but surely you are the instigators). After all, if the business wants better platforms for showing of their ads than let this business circles pay you for the software, not the ordinary users like me.


     b) Another bad thing maintained by you is that you have no concept at all (at least up to my knowledge) for ... second hand software! And don't tell me that it does not age because it surely becomes obsolete, hence, it ages. As well don't tell me that it is hard to measure this and it is impossible to tell weather a software is old or not, because in the next section I will propose one simple measure for this, but my propositions are usually the simplest and obvious in order to show that some solution exists (like, to give an example, I proceeded in my first Manifesto after finding that both, the dictatorship and the democracy have faults — I invented the "democratic dictatorship"). So I mean that you have to ponder about this question and if something does not exist than to invent it, in the same way like people before millenniums have invented the dear God (because you, my dear -softists, are intelligent people to know that already from Ancient Greece was known that there is no way, either to prove, or to disprove, the existence of some extraordinary immaterial being like a deity). But when hardware ages then the software has also to age, and to become cheaper.

     And you also do not maintain different kinds of software for different users, different in sense of their wealth. And in producing of every other articles there are different qualities, to be had for different money. Id est, you have not second or third class software, but if you travel to somewhere there are different classes, though the people there don't travel faster, yet with more comfort. Every good shop nowadays (and I suppose always) tries to sell different qualities of things for different people, only in the totalitarian countries there were the same things for everybody. This difference sometimes might be symbolic but in the prices there is a difference and this is important for the buyers. As to the operating system there have to be different levels of priority and security, and for the highest security is normal to require more money, but not for the lowest level (which I, for example, use). There is also no concept of temporary access to some resources (like bank accounts), say, for a month, or an year, what will surely be cheaper for the users.


     c) Then there are many unsolved problems in the very Internet, which looks like the market somewhere in the ancient Babylon. I mean that there everybody can "cry" what he or she wants or cheat everybody, I have mentioned some of these things in my ideas about browser's searching, and although Microsoft does not own the Internet it gives the tune, hence this tune has to be the right one. More precisely there have to be different kinds of sites in regard of their trustfulness, one has to know whom to believe and whom not to. There has to be also some administrative body of the Internet, like, say, the United Nations in many cases. It is true that the UN are basically those who pay the money for their existence and this are chiefly the USA, hence it might happen that the Internet will be chiefly the Microsoft, but not exactly, the rights can be legally divided. Otherwise can happen many curiosities, like, for example, you type in the browser "Bulgarian survival", and before my booklet with this name was written, and even now in front of it appear some sites with ads only, not what you search; the same if you type some rarely used word, there are cites that mention (in their headers) nearly every word in order to appear in front of everybody and catch your attention and then you read a heap of ads. And this can be coupled also with pornography, say, you type "Obama" and there appears "Obama and teenagers sex", I have met this with the Russian Putin, so I don't invent here. Such things must not happen. It is very bad when something arises only bottom-up, without some top level ideas and regulations (like, for example, our proverbial Bulgarian poverty, because we have no single concept about the measures against the poverty, we simply use it to enhance the exploitation).


     d) And, last but not least, I will mention that in recent times, in the times of common (well, not exactly, but still) prosperity is often applied the strategy to give something free to the people, so that to leave them alone to decide whether they will buy this or not, and also to be able to use this free thing for advertising purposes, in which case through the ads is paid the thing in question. What, put in other words, means that the wealthy people or instances pay also for the poor people, what is only just. Yeah, but you forget about this with your operating systems, and it turns often that the poorer and those who use least the services, pay proportionally much more than the wealthy who use many available options. But to make the poor pay for the wealthy is totally immoral! The poor can pay for the wealthy only in barbarian countries like Bulgaria, where (I have mentioned this somewhere) the cheapest food, which is basically imitation, is sold for relatively higher prices and with more profit than the natural things. (There are such proportions of the cheapest mincemeat to the real meat, or the tiniest fish to the normal one, or animal innards to the meat, or pig feet to pork meat, etc. Even with the bus tickets is not the same whether a person like me, with about 3 tickets daily income pays the fare or such who spares money using city transport instead of his or her car. We have even a flat income tax, which is the utmost rightist taxation in the poorest country of EU.)

     In principle it is obviously difficult to require to make the prices personal for the buyers, but it has to be looked not to come to the other pole, where those who use a small subset of the possibilities (of the operating system) pay for all possibilities, and single users on an outdated computers should not pay for many extras which they do not use. Like also people who do not do banking via the Internet should not pay for this possibility, this is unjust. Yet this happens, as you see, not only in barbarian countries but all around the world, like, to give another example, there is a so called Open University, where everybody can enroll to study, but it isn't, in fact, open, when one has to pay for it, the payment "closes" it. So that there are many unjust or unmoral things that exist in the Microsoft "field", and I tell you all this because you, being such powerful company, can think and solve them, while some other small companies have really to think about their existence. In this way will be solved the problems with some basic access for everybody, with the enhanced security for the prosperous, with different kinds of software for everybody, with temporary payments lessening the prices in the moment, and with the paying chiefly by the wealthy.


     4. A bunch of Myrski's propositions to Microsoft


     Well, there are many things here, and you better cast a look at all (or at least at half of the) things in my mentioned PIR folder, but now more precisely at the browsers searching (or, then, do this after reading of this material, the things there are ordered, they have titles, you will orient yourselves easy in it). I, for my part, will list some things more or less in the mentioned before order of what has to be done, yet not exactly because the things are related..


     a) There have to be several types of operating systems in regard of their access rights to the Internet. I propose chiefly the following types: common, full rights, temporary full rights, and VIP. The common rights of the operating system means that it is for everybody and has to be given usually free, can be somehow obtained (bootstrapped) from the Internet free, but there can be a variant to require up to 1/4 of the price of the computer or 10 euro, what is less, for the installment. This has to allow reading of everything on text sites, listening to music, watching of video or TV, using of email accounts, various chats, and playing of simple games, yet there are not principally excluded partial bans on some sites (like for watching of porno, or of live sporting events, or playing of the newest games). The full rights access allows everything (including banking, the newest games, etc, yet there can be required some additional payment for porno or whatever); one has to pay for such operating system, even if it is not the newest, but for older less than for the newest. Temporary (full) rights means what is said, and can be for a month, for a quarter, for half an year, and for an year (but maybe also for every number of years, yet if it is more than three years this will be not much different than to buy the operating system and have full rights); for a week I somehow don't see sufficient reasons but this should not be forbidden. And VIP is VIP, some extras, like improved speed, or personal satellite channel, or something, I don't know now, but something always can be found.

     Now about controlling of these full rights and where they have to be written. Well, surely not on the very copy of operating system or in the computer, because this will allow somehow faking of it. This has to be written on some site of Microsoft, and every other site has to have the rights to look there periodically. But this will not be so difficult to be done because for the common rights there is nothing to check, everybody can read, listen, communicate, et cetera. Whenever the full rights are required the corresponding sites have to maintain a list of physical addresses of all such users and check them, say once a week, or even a month, and if everything is OK to allow these services, or else to reject them. The temporary rights will be checked in the same manner and controlled the period of access. While for the VIP users may be required checking each day, and even may be done so that the very Microsoft sends each day list of such users to each site that wants this. The word "each" or "all" may seem troublesome, but for the contemporary computers this is not real burden, and have also in mind that the VIP users will be usually thousand times less than those with full rights.


     b) Now about the second hand software. Well, I propose the simple formula: CP(NY) = IP * 0.9^(NY-1), where CP is the current price, IP is the initial price, and NY is the number of years. For example, CP(1) = IP, CP(2) = 0.9*IP, CP(3) = 0.81*IP, CP(4) = 0.729*IP, CP(6) = 0.59, CP(11) = 0.348, CP(16) = 0.206, CP(21) = 0.12, CP(26) = 0.072, and the turning in percents I leave to you, my dear -softists. Surely you can change also this mysterious coefficient of 0.9, but I suppose that this is nearest to the real case in the majority of cases.

     Starting from this formula you can compute also the very price of the software for each year accepting that for 20 years (or maybe 15, how you decide) the software has to be paid entirely. I mean that there is a geometric progression: FI + FI* 0.9 + FI * 0.9^2 + ... + FI * 0.9^19 = IP, where FI is the first installment, what gives: FI * (1 - 0.9^20) / (1 - 0.9) = IP, or FI * (1-0.1216) / 0.1 = IP, or FI * 0.8784 / 0.1 = IP, or FI = IP * 0.1 / 0.8784, or FI = IP * 0.1138. Then (if I have made no errors) the first installment will be 0.1138 of the total price, the second installment will be 0.9*0.1138 = 0.1024 of the same, and the third will be 0.0922, or for the first 3 years one has to pay 0.3084, and so on, what still makes sense.

     But this is for an yearly basis, and if you choose to pay for a month then even the first installment will be a bit less than a percent of the total price, everybody can allow to pay such prices, if this is necessary, this will be much more liberal policy than to sell whole operating systems. The only problem for me remains the way to send small sums not via a bank, but maybe this also is solved, I simply don't do such transfers and because of this don't know how exactly. Hence, if the goals are correctly defined the solution can be found. And if there exists some administrative body of the Internet, not when everybody acts as in a jungle.


     5. My letter to Bill Gates


     Hello my dear Billy,


     How are you doing in your filthy rich America? And I think you will allow me to call you Billy, because I am a bit older then you, with five years. And an older brother in Bulgarian is called "bati", but this is not only our word, this is related with the father /pater, this is something big and swelled (like a baton), and it is pronounced in Gypsy like "bahti", and this is the usual defender of the person. Hence Myrski will be a kind of defender of the great Billy, this sounds pretty melodious to my ears. Only that there is a little problem: you may have no time for me, surely, unless some of your thousand (and one, maybe) bosses under you will not turn your attention to this letter or will not narrate it to you somehow, in what I hope.

     Because, come to think about this, there are about 100,000 seconds in a day, more precisely 86,400, and in an year this will make 31,563,000 seconds, and if one multiplies this by 1.6 this will give nearly exactly 50 mln such parts of time. You, naturally, are right to ask why I do this calculations, but they have a very precise goal, this is in order to invent a new chronos, a particle which is approximately equal to one average, ah, sorry, ... fart! So there are 50 mln average farts in an year, though some of them may last even by ten farts, am I clear? And this isn't such difficult guess on my part because you have heard about the farthing, yes? One may say that this is 1/4 but it begins exactly with this "fart", so that there surely were some ideas in the heads of old Englishmen.

     Well, and now let us look from the other side, from the side of the income. I suppose that you earn at least a billion — you see, Billy - billion, maybe because of you they are using this word in USA instead of the widely spread milliard — of dollars; they can be even 20 billions, for what I know, per year, but I will take a billion as the lowest limit (say, in times of economic crisis). So if you earn one billion, or 1 with 9 zeros, divided by 50 mln, or 50 with 6 zeros, this will be the same as to divide a thousand by fifty, what will make 20 rustling US dollars, and this is the price of your standard fart, Billy, my younger brother! So I, obviously, have no rights at all to bother a magnate with 20 dollars fart about some computer equipment costing about 30 euros (with the traveling expenses, and because the hard disc was, in fact, of 80 GB, they haven't smaller then), he will surely give a fart about me, right? Yet I do this, Billy, because the things are related, and I have touched, and will touch, other more important problems, worth not merely a fart, but maybe a ... pissing and even more?!

     So that let me now invent another chronos called a standard piss, which in my opinion lasts about 1.5 minutes. Because it is so, Billy, you have to spend time for opening of the fly, for taking it properly, for concentration on the business, for some final shaking, for stowing of the "instrument" back in its place, for closing of the fly, and for adjusting of the "device" in the trousers with a hand, and if one is healthy one does not waste his time on small pisses, right? Hence here we start with 60*24 = 1,440 minutes in the day, what divided by 1.5 (precisely by 1.44 min, what are 60+26.4 = 86.4 sec) gives a round thousand pisses in a day. Then in an year this will make 365,000 such p. chronoses, or 0.365 mln p., and if we likewise divide 1 billion or 1,000 mln to 0.365 mln this will give 2,740 US dollars for the Billy's piss. But, my dear Billy, if my pissing was worth so much then I surely would have employed a nice girl (or a boy, according to the preferences) to perform this nasty business of the holding of it for me for some rustling 100 US dollars bill, yet I will never ask you whether you do this or not, because this is your own business, and I am a decent guy, to tell you. Still, now that you know how worth is only this small toilette business for you, you can take some measures to do it while thinking (about the poor people, I suppose, because this is what I usually do, I think about something while doing this). But enough, I will not calculate other of you necessary activities (because you can do this alone, clearly).

     And, well, Billy, don't get mad at me, because I simply try to catch your attention, and this is how I can, inventing something funny, because I have no money to spend on some advertising or on bribing of you employees, and the life is hard for me, while at the same time the problems that I raise deserve your attention. Because I have not been interested in your philanthropic activity but the wealthy people are bound to be such, they need this and they wonder what to do in this area. Hence I will tell you that to give your wealth to the others, how the communists have preached, does not solve the problem, people need the exploitation and the inequality, only some enlightened persons (like me, surely) don't need this. So that the important moment nowadays is to invent some new and nice form of exploitation not for money, but for something else — say, for pleasure, or for the right to have children, or for something else, because otherwise remains only the self-exploitation but not many people are such masochists. I have thought about this but till now have not found of what kind has to be this exploitation form, so that I share this problem with you, because knowing this one will be able to predict more precisely what will come after the capitalism, which will emerge pretty disheveled out of this crises which continues quite long for the people's endurance and for now has led to negative interest rates in the banks, what has to land a severe blow on you, my dear Billy. Yet this is a bit off the point for now, let me focus on the problems concerning Microsoft which can be bettered (there can always be bettered something).

     So I have spoken about these things in the previous section, having before this poked my finger at the sore areas of your activity. Because the business is business, but from the wealthier is required more, this is, like the French say, noblesse oblige. And you have not a clear concept about aging of the software, while I have given you a pair of ideas: how to calculate this aging, how to sell it in installments, how not to sell it to the poor who will never be able to pay, especially for things that is supposed that they use but they don't. So that you ponder about this, Billy, because you are the monopolist, but there are others, and if you will not want to listen to my advices, which are openly published, as well also this letter, then it may quietly happen that some day the Unix, Lunix, Munix, Bunix, Strunix, and Trandamunix will unite and make some new operating system called Popunux, meant as Popular Unix, and will conquer the world. And I will suffer for you because we are now going to became pals, I am dedicating a poetry to you, and wish only that you improve yourself, together with your company.

     So that you continue to work in the direction of complicating of the operating systems and increasing of the usage of main memory, but do some work also in the opposite direction, in the making of small systems for single users, like me, with the basic requirements for reading, chatting, communicating, watching TV, and playing of simple games, what has to require not more than 10-20 GB disc space. Up to my opinion there have to be at least several hundreds of millions of such users around the world, maybe even a whole milliard. Because there is not only the poor Bulgaria, the countries around us, on the Balkans, are not very rich, and then there is half of the people from the former USSR, like Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, Kyrgyz- and other -stans, a big part of the Near East, nearly the whole Africa, nearly the whole Far East, America Latina, Hindustan, China, and others, where many people will be glad to have something like my Pentium-4 and for about 50 euros all: computer, monitor, and operating system. To use this if only for watching of TV, and for the -pedias, the translators, the music, etc, will also be good; even 100 euros is not much for such computer if there will not be browsers that will say: change the OS or we will not serve you (how the "bad" Mozilla does).

     Because there are different people, I have said this, and the younger are always bigger snobs, they will want, anyway, to pay for something better, even if they will not use it fully, but there are also people who will be glad to have this what I propose and want for myself, if this is cheaper enough. But this is as if a new market, Billy, these old or refurbished computers may be specially produced, nobody will lose, the point is to grasp that who wants something new he will always find so much money for an OS and a contemporary computer, but who does not want to spend much he will be glad with what is cheaper, these are two different categories of people. And then let us return to the paying of money for OS in installments: if one such monthly installment costs 1-2 euro people who pay 5 to 10 euro monthly for the connection to some net will agree to pay a bit more for doing of money transactions or whatever, the problem is only how to collect the money, but you know how to do this, Billy, don't you?.

     And let me tell you something about the new software and the terrible amounts of available memory nowadays. I personally think that there is nothing really new in the software field after "The art of programming" of Knuth, am I right? Well, these browsers are fine expert systems, but they work well not because of special programmer tricks but because of the enormously increased memories (say, 1,000 times), and speeds of the processors (say, 50 to 100 times), compared with what was available in the times of Knuth. And the memories on discs, they are simply unnecessary, but here is applied the Parkinson's Law that the amount of work or space increases so as to fill the available resources, this is simple, my clever Billy. And you, surely, work in league with the hardware producers, don't you? I can even tell you one story (fictitious) by one Bulgarian humorist called Chudomir (what is a pseudonym meant as Amazing World), who narrated about one young boy that has begun to work as chimney sweeper and everything went well until one night he was attacked by a gang of other boys who beat him tough, and when he asked why they condescended to explain him that they were from the guild of those who put tiles on the roofs. And when he still couldn't understand how this is related with him they explained him that there was unwritten agreement between both guilds such that those who put tiles have to shove some cloth in the chimney, but those who cleanse the chimneys have to break a pair of tiles, to what he said, OK guys, but how could I have known this, nobody told me this. So that the softists and hardtists are like, so to say, ... a bottom and pants, without precising of who exactly is the bottom, right?

     Ah, Billy, the disc memory increases unnecessary because: what can one put on hundreds of gigabytes, that he can't avoid, ah? I, for example can put all my books (about a dozen if of 200 pages and more, and multiplied by 3 for the languages that I use, in some 10 MB, but let them be 100 MB, let them be 1 GB, and that's all. Surely that one usual picture is about 2-3 MB (1,000 by 1,000 pixels usually by 3 bytes), but even for this a pair of GB, one flash memory, suffices, and films is not necessary to store in random access devices, there are tapes of some kind for them. Yet people put what they can, they fill their discs until some day they crash, that's what I suppose. Where on the other pole are people who can use really moderate, according to today's measures, discs, and computers, not laptops or such flat gadgets that one has to work calluses from moving a finger over them, for multiple purposes and be glad with this if they were offered to them. Surely people do usually what they can, not what is necessary, but everything excessive ricochets sometimes.

     Anyway, Billy, I have tired you and let me move now to my poetry


Dedicated


     T_housands of terra bytes are called just Gates,

     O_bviously — such big chunk is simply great.


     B_ut imagine robot with such cache of RAM

     I_n the all of ten processors — I'll be damn'd!

     L_eft behind will be the people then

     L_ooking too moronic, wifes and men.

     Y_eah, castrate them, maybe, with two bricks: bam, bam!


     G_ood, the people will say, who's to blame 's the point.

     A_h, this Entrance guy who Microsoft's name coined

     T_hrowing money for a software things,

     E_h, let's catch him, here's were stinks.

     S_till, he will be long dead and as saint anoint.


     Your "bahti" Chris Myrski.


     6. PriPop, the new joined venture


     Hello, Billy,


     This is again me, your pal Chrissi, and maybe your future companion. I hope that you have liked my verse and want to make me a little present on this occasion, so that I will explain you now what exactly. But surely nothing expensive, just a dozen of your valuable farts, something in that range, in no case one of your pisses. What I would have liked is a small, 10-12 inches, laptop, with about 1 GB RAM, 20 GB disk, and operating system that will allow using of satellite videophone, what you call skype I think. But mark that I mean laptop with a keyboard, so that it can be used for typing or programming or reading, et cetera. It has to be something simple, not heavy, and with small inscription in gold (or platinum) in the bottom right corner saying "Donation by Bill Gates", where "Gates" must not be bigger, but maybe even smaller and with a little crown with three diamonds above. Something like this, and it may have no battery and work only on power adapter (hence you may put a dozen diamonds or a gold plate, or something else valuable (say, a wad of folded 1,000 dollar bills), on the place of battery, if this is your wish, but I don't insist on it). And, Billy, this will be simply necessity if we will make this PriPop company, what is deciphered as Prince and Pauper, you see, a company for princes and for paupers! How do you like it. ah? You may prefer to write it as PriPaup but I think that it may be written also like I propose, and there was earlier some jazz style called "bebop" so that this sounds similarly, is again a melodious name.

     And don't try to refuse me this pleasure on the grounds that you have not liked the verse at all, because then you may want to give me this present in order, so to say, to bribe me, for not to write more such verses, ha, ha. Because I can continue to write, I may invent a nonsense poem called, say, Billy and the runaway mouse, or something similar, I have experience in these things, I have written about a dozen limericks in English dedicated to Bulgarian politicians even in the last century, I have dedicated in Russian a verse to Gorbachev, then to Putin, so that I stop at nothing, it's good to know this. Not that my poetry is read much, in fact it is nearly not read, but this is for the moment, and if I succeed to conquer the world and after my untimely (as it always happens) demise the things may change drastically, it may even become so that after a century people will forget who was this Bill Entrance of how he was, but they will never forget the inimitable world writer Myrski (with his, just to give an example, three poems "Sounds Impossible ...", which have not yet been used as libretto to write pop songs on them but this can happen any moment).

     Yet, on the other hand, if you will not want to build this joined venture then send me no skypes, no nothing, because I have not a soul to whom I can phone and boast that, look, this thing was sent to me by the great Billy, do you know him, etc., because I use my usual phone about a pair of times in the year, and receive calls, say, five times for the same period, I am, literally said, an intellectual anchorite. And the company must work on the famous principle of the fictitious hero Ostap Bender — and don't tell me, please, that you have not yet read the books about him, you can always fill this gap in your education — who proclaimed: "Your money, our ideas!". Because, obviously, I, being one intellectual pauper, or, then, one paupery intellectual, have no money, right? And as to your ideas, I never said that you haven't, but, you see, you are working, driving the heavy car of this enormous company, and are moving in some commercial ruts, you have no time to look around (and enjoy the landscape, for example).

     So that now listen to my first proposition for new, and chiefly old, operating system named, say, "Windows-21" as the Windows of the 21st century, because it will not change each year but will remain the same for, well, let's say 20 or so years, and later you can always add some plusses, right? It has to be offered free for simple computers and laptops and when you switch on the computer on the screen will be shown, under the sounds of the final of 9th Beethoven's symphony, a view from the sky to some tall building on which is written vertically "Microsoft". Then the camera gradually lowers down and, see, before the building, shown in close-up, stands the smiling Billy who waves a hand to the camera and headed for the surprisingly closely situated big park surrounded with wrought iron high fence and just nicely ornamented big gates. Then the camera moves a bit away to show that after the man is gathered a big crowd of people of all races and ages and before the gates Gates stops, takes out of his inner pocket a big and shining golden key, and puts it in the keyhole, while in the moment of turning it and opening the gates resounds this joyous cry "Freude" meaning joy, ecstasy, and it becomes clear for everybody that this is the garden of Eden. Alternatively the actor playing you, Billy, can hit a buzzer and on the other side of the gates can appear another actor impersonating me impersonating the Saint Peter and then I take the big golden key hanging on a chain on my neck, put it in the keyhole, and when I am opening the gates resounds this "Freude". Then are shown many trees under which on tree trunks are placed open computers with another trunks around them for sitting, and on their screens is seen the smiling Billy, and the people are heading to them to choose by a computer for themselves. All this lasts about a minute or one p. unit of time.

     Haven't I arranged it brilliant, ah, Billy? But surely I have. So let me mention now some more important features of the OS. It will be based on some Windows from the very end of the century, with 32 bit FAT, with all usual commands and not very special protecting shield because will not support bank accounts. Still, something can be added, and I propose to introduce versions for the files (there were versions on PDP as far as I remember) because one usually changes something in the files with which works and this "copy of" elongates unnecessary the name of the files and appears not in the proper order. We have to decide this together, naturally, but I think that most suitable will be to have a small one-position field (separated with "." or ";") for the version before the file name, and clicking on it can be chosen another version, else (if clicked on the name) is opened the last one. One does not bother to change them, the versions are maintained automatically in the range of 2 to 5, 3 by default, and can be allowed up to 9; in addition can be added also a command called "truncate versions" or "trv" which will be called from the version field; each time when one edits in some way the file with save is saving the new version, and on exit are rearranged the versions automatically and renumbered if necessary when exceeding the top limit, permanently deleting by this the oldest version. I think this will create no problems for your programming personnel because nearing my 70 I don't intend to work as programmer in a field which I don't know.

     Yeah, but then you may want to adapt my old idea for splitting of the words of any language without dictionaries! It worked by me in DOS not exactly perfect, but quite passable, and this is a must for all devices, like phones, and other small screens, not only by printing yet also then. All this is described for everybody in my PIR folder and in English, but it is based on the analysis of the letters of each alphabet (I worked back then with Cyrillic and Latin), discerning 3 major categories: vowels, consonants, and modifiers (like "h" and "j" if I have remembered it correctly). In the Word this can be invoked by hitting CR to end the paragraph and then to be perform splitting of the words in it; it has to be possible to be invoked specially for any portion of text, to do some manual splitting and again to call this function for the remainder. This surely will make the pages better looking, and then can be thought to apply the same approach also for all Internet sites. My method allows working in several languages together and arranging of some presettings about this when has not to be divided, or on the contrary, but for every language can exist some standard small tables (of about 10 items).

     Then there is my idea about very strange and unprofessional method of condensing of files of any type also universally without whatever analysis of the file type, this also is described briefly. Then there are my ideas about the browsers and the Internet at all. There nothing is done, the Internet is maintained more or less like how the first settlers in America organized their farms, this is nearly pre-deluvial method of work. Think what will be after a pair of centuries, when the Internet is now on about 25 years — I suppose everything will be necessary to be done anew, all -pedias, everything. This isn't the right way of doing the things and if people with such big influence like you will not take the initiative then will be lost much time and efforts. There is also my old (from about 2003) idea about one universal alphabet for all languages, which is not yet accepted, surely — my ideas are usually too revolutionary for to be accepted in my lifetime, I suppose — but there is not invented the very alphabet and the modifiers, so that it is good if this could be available in advance, and there are some peculiarities there (with superposing of two characters, or rather of a standard character and a modifier). And so on.

     But well, Billy, Rome wasn't built in one day, so also our joined company will gradually gather its momentum. And when we will become pals then I may make some exception for you and, for example, allow you to choose whatever you want from my books and papers, in arbitrary order on you sites. Because I have said in my conditions for publication that I begin everywhere with my "Communism", then "The manifestos", then the "Cynical essays", and so on, but you may want to begin with my "PIR", then my poetry, then my "Urrh", and just then the "Cynical essays", or in some other order. And free, of course, I can't publish everything free on Russian sites and require from my pal payment, right? For some of my ideas I require something, but this is if the ideas will be used, not otherwise, and this is for old ideas. Then you may want to invest some filthy tens of thousands dollars to issue something from my works in paper form, but this will not be lost money, I suppose, and everything depends on the advertising. It is true that I say that I want 25% of the selling price for me but this is because the books are only mine, and this does not mean that the editor has really to pay me all the money, I have explained these things.

     Because. Billy, you see, I just don't need much money today! I needed some 20, 15, or 10 years earlier, and now I don't need, because I suffer from one very strange psychical "illness" — I simply can't spend! That's it. I told in the very beginning that I spend about 25 US$ monthly for eating and drinking, what is true; I can spend another 25, maybe even 50, but I can't imagine how I will spend a hundred on this only! Well, there are communal expenses etc., so that I can freely spend 100 US$ each month, but, again, not more. I need also to make some unavoidable repairs in my home, this will make about a pair of thousand dollars, yet I can't allow myself to pay to the plumber for a day's work as much as my monthly pension. And because of this I avoid this repairs for years. And even if I will sometime do them then this will be in order to bequeath my small flat in better form to some educational institution, or some money (if I will have) to another such institutions. What means that if you, for example, decide to send me 50 or 100 dollars I will make myself a "feast", I may buy either an ice cream or a tart, or something of the kind, and will save not more than the half, but if you send me 500 then I will surely put 450 in some bank, and they even give no interest now, hence, — for what purpose? So that in our joined venture you can give the money but you can also retain them mostly. Did you get it? What is reduced to this: why not to try to use some of my ideas, ah?

     But, well, let us return to something more funny, Billy. Let me tell you how I may call you and show you a glass of homemade vodka with essence or tincture of rowan (or mountain-ash) berries (in Russian it will be called "ryabinovka"), coloured in red like diluted blood, and you may show me your glass with 111 old whisky (supposing that it is the oldest to be found) with the colour of condensed ... urine, and we will clink glasses via some satellite. Despite the time zones and the 7 hours difference this can sometimes happen, if you take you aperitif about tee-time, 5 p.m., and I will not yet sleep till midnight. Or then we can talk about this new kind of exploitation, it has to exist, people will not stop to work just because they will not need more money (what I think can as well happen till the end of the century), and when there are now no families, almost no fatherlands, no castes (with the exception of such tiny groups like you all the others are nearly equal), something has to bind the society, else we will return to the jungle. Or we can also ponder about the socializing of society, and is it possible some moderate communism which must be equal to the moderate capitalism, according to me.

     Or you may became interested how I can manage with my a-dollar-a-day sustenance for my body, and I may became interested how you succeed to spend at least a pair or millions in a month because your position requires this, people want that the highlife spends, otherwise they will be disappointed in it. But I will never ask you is it true that your ... toilet seat is of pure gold, or is it of platinum, and do you know why, Billy? Because I know that it is of semiconductors! Well, maybe it has to be said that it is of a semiconductor type, but you know that the English isn't my mother language, so that I may make by a mistake from time to time. What I mean is that it conducts the sh..., the whatever-it-is-that-comes-out when you sit on it in the direction from your bottom-emitter through the bowl and in the collector-pipes, but never vice versa, right? Even my toilet seat is of this kind, only that it works with manual rinsing (because a plumber wants too much for me).

     And so on, but as far as I suppose that have wasted already about hundred thousand dollars of your time I will stop here, because enough is enough.

     Affectionately yours


     Chrissi, intelligent laic and worldly popularizing writer.


     9. Conclusion


     So, dear Microsoft people, I have finished at last my enormous letter to you beginning with a trifling for you plea, making you acquainted with the poor life in some post-totalitarian countries and especially for the intellectuals there, turning your attention to some important drawbacks of you company policy, giving you briefly a pair of propositions and telling you where to find more things of the kind, and then allowing myself to make many (and not pretty decent) jokes with your legendary Bill Gates, together with some funny propositions to him for me working together with him, but, after all, this is also a kind of publicity for him and you, and even this is not much off the point of the future of your company and the strategic goals for you. But then people like to make jokes with the highlife or with their idols, and the more unexpected they are, the better, and "Billy" was not exactly my idol, for I have never dreamed to became capitalist, but was a brethren for me, a programmer of high rank. So that don't get angry at me but think, after solving of my primary problem, what you can better in your work, because this material being published on the Internet it may as well happen that some "raincoats" or "pears" or other funny names of software and hardware companies can begin to use these ideas and increase their popularity and /or wins.


     Oct 2016,     Chris Myrski


     P.S. Ah, dear Microsoft people, I have tried for more than an year to come in touch with you and have begged my readers to send you an email to look at this letter, and alone have tried this again but have not succeeded, alas. For one thing because my readers don't care much about me, yeah, they are glad to read something funny and philosophical or scientific, but they don't accept me as real person to whom they can show some help (and why should they?). For another thing because I alone have tried to do this, for I have managed somehow to solve my problem (after about an year delay) via my Internet providers (one small company), who have helped me in order not to lose me as client and have installed me some Windows from 2003 on which I work since about Nov 2017, and I have nowhere found email address to which to write, only some web-pages, with questions about which of your product it goes, so that you can offer me something new and for more money, yeah. Id est, you are interesting only in making more profits, not of some useful feedback from your users.

     Well, maybe you are right, up to some extent, I don't pretend to have knowledge in the field of delusion of the clients, sorry, of the lulling of the clients the you are those who offer the best possible products and all other competitors are, hmm, not exactly sh#ts, but so, mediocrities. You are acting, maybe, according the old proverb: In Rome do as the Romans do. Good, but the bad thing is that all I have said (as well also many things that I have not said, surely) continues to be true. This is chiefly, in some philosophical aspect and generally speaking, because you, and your colleagues programmer manufacturers, have simply ... reached their climax, can't make something really better, and then continue to worsen a bit the things, trying only not to worsen them more than the others do. Because it is so, when someone reaches some top he (or she) can go only down (or stay at the same level — what nobody wants, whatever but not the same), providing this was really a top, no matter local or more global. So, to give an example, the world capitalism has reached its top level somewhere about the turn of the last century, with the Eiffel Tower or Ford's conveyor, or mass applying of electricity, and because of this were lead the two World wars, including the not long ago executed ... Bin Laden's attack, I suppose. And in the field of software the latest important achievements were till about 1980, or the turn of the century at most, in my opinion, and what happened later became important only due to the breath-taking achievements of hardware technologies, that's it.

     In confirmation of my statement I can give you some examples with the new, after the turn of the century, Microsoft Office products. Let me take the Word, there is nothing new (well, maybe only this, that now I can mark some area holding the left mouse button and dragging down the mouse and this is done slowly while before was used all speed of the computer, but this is a trifle), yet there are obvious worsenings, and I have met on one site the statement that one has to work with Word not after 2006, and they have based their requirements for submitting files for ebooks to them in such form. More concrete, what I don't like now (and this even for 2003, not for 10th or higher year versions) is, say: the guessing of the language, which surely can't be very good, and it happened that I, mixing several languages, insert some English word and want to check its spelling, and am answered that there is no spell-checker for Bulgarian (but the word is English, and in Bulgarian there is another alphabet, it is easy to check the English spelling), while before the language and grammar checking worked good at least for the English; i.e., you have seen that such things are done in many browsers, but one editor must not compete with such much bigger programs, and you again want that somebody paid you something more for using of another language checker, while the browsers offer such things free; in other words, you offer unnecessary luxuries in order to get more and more money. But there is worse than this, there is, for example, a straight line below which are placed the foot-notes, which has to take one line only but it is unmanageable (even before was so) and now it happened with me that once it began to grow and inserted first 2 lines, then more (up to 7-8) for no reasons, which I succeeded to manage only using an old copy of my file, what for me is an obvious bug. Then there happened even more strange things (maybe due to using of other alphabets and unnecessary spell checking but this is not excuse), like when my file began simply to grow (from about 2K KB) and this was initially with 30-some percents, then 2-3 times, now about 8 times and I have not managed this.

     I can continue in this direction with other examples of unnecessary complications, but you know quite well that there are used also other editors which are simple, can't do indexing etc., but work pretty well, while in Word it is often impossible to mark some chars, it guesses something more what is not necessary in many cases. It is like — for to give one funny example —, to want to take one cigarette out of the package and received it always ... lighted (because you usually will want to light it. About the Excel I don't remember an example now (because have not used it for long time) but in Access there is not well maintained vertical compatibility and I can't open one my old file because of various checks for written by me programs, and here is no remedy at all (unless to make an entirely new structure of the base and load anew my files, what I think is scandalous).

     Not to repeat that there is no splitting of words proposed, in no language, more so not language specific (what I mention as proposition); also no ways for easy writing of new chars, new alphabets (while I remember that in DOS existed one Chi-writer for such cases; there is even no way for superposition of two (or more) chars, be it for adding something above or below, be it for composing of new chars (what was done by printing in DOS with the use of BackSpace but not with Delete). So that I am right, guys and girls, you are wrong.

     Yet, on the other hand, being forced to write a pair of other Open Letters to various instances, I have come to the conclusion that the open letters are usually not read by the persons to whom they are sent; this might be because the people nowadays have no time to read their "closed" letters, not to mention the open once. Well, if it is so, then I will try to draw my conclusions and derive some benefits even from this, because, thanks to your ignoring of my letter, I have come to the idea to write one rather philosophical Open Letter to ... God Almighty, Who will, surely, not bother to answer me, right? So that maybe in a pair of years I will write it and my readers will have one more paper to read (and think), and from the case with you I have also written an interesting paper and increased the number of my, not very copious, readers, so that, as the Germans say, nichts für ungut (nothing for ungood), and I am not much angry at you (because you are part of the decaying capitalism, with which all must cope somehow, it being not only bad but, in some aspects, also good).


     March 2018


 





 

 

A PECULIAR LETTER TO MBARURIAN EMBASSY IN BULGARIA

(comical proof that the democratic authorities don't give a damn about the customers)


     [ Remark: Despite the funny and invented name of a country this Letter was really sent to one Embassy in my country about some insignificant small plea, but their total ignoring me is quite significant for the majority of our worldwide democratic habits in the era of Internet and emails, so important that I have spent a pair of days more in anonymizing it and inventing a heap of names and new style of verses, and even writing in this style a funny verse. I have made all anonymous in order not to expose the real country (and because it could have been any other in its place, I suppose), but the situation is so funny (and my Letter, too), so that I can't leave it to perish in my archives and feel simply obliged to make it known to the public. I have to add also that where I have changed something from the original Letter I give some short explanations in such square brackets. ]


     ---


       embassy.sofia@foreign.mba , office.sofia@foreign.mba , copy to  cucemba.sofia@foreign.mba


     Subject [in Mbarurian]: the use of books from your library to cucemba


     [Also in Mbarurian] Excuse me for my writing in English, but this is the language that I know better (if I don't count my Bulgarian). And excuse me one more time for disturbing directly the Ambassador, yet I have not succeeded to find the address of your Cultural Attache, if you have one. The question is not important for your part and concerns the work of your Cultural Center of Mbaruruland (CuCeMba), and in particular the taking of books for home reading from your library. On the other hand, the question is expressed in quite comical way, so that I hope not to disturb you much, but mainly to pull you for a bit away from your serious work.


     Chris Myrski


— — — — —


          To Mbarurian Ambassador in Bulgaria, Mr. Tumbeto Abibi


     Honorable Ambassador,


     This is a question for your Cultural Attache, yet I have not succeeded to find an email of such person, if you have one, so that I am writing directly to you. Still, I hope you will not lose your appetite with this funny plea of mine, but will rather have reasons for some refreshing laughs over the state of (some of) Bulgarian intellectual, if not exactly elite, then at least representatives.

     Now to the point. It goes about the rules for taking books from your library to the Cultural Center of Mbaruruland (CuCeMba). The reasons for my resentment (if it can be called so, because I have NO real reasons to object to them) are that there are two different positions expressed from two of your staff members, which called to my mind the well known model of behaviour from our proverb (maybe there is a similar one in Mbarurian) that "the king allows, yet not the warden" (царя дава, пъдаря не дава). As far as this is a relatively often met situation I have long ago come to the conclusion that both parts are in some extent right, but this, still, sounds funny, and the most reasonable way of behavior for the subject is to inform the "king" for the actions of the "warden", for the simple reason that the most necessary help that can be given to higher placed persons is to feed them with some feedbacks from the down-placed masses (because this information, that they receive via the official canals, quite often, is not reliable). I mean that, really, I am interested in solving of my case how I want, but I will be probably equally glad to receive your negative answer; the only thing that will give not big pleasure to me is to be ignored by you, and with this purpose in mind I use some humor to placate you a bit and make you to say "yes" or "no", but not to abstain.

     So let me call the "warden" here bojoto nohapito (BN for short [what in Mbarurian means unhappy little boy]), who is an young boy (well, about 20-some, but from the standpoint of my nearly 70 years everybody younger than 50 is young) and looks always unhappy (probably because seems to be "the ninth hole of the pipe" — ha, ha —, as we say, and he has a strong wish to make faster career), and who says that there can be taken only up to 2 books and for not longer than 1 month; some exceptions can be made but once, not always. And let me repeat that I can't object against these rules, if they are those that are given to your staff members, because they are pretty liberal, the term for keeping of books is usually 20 days, in some places even 14, and there can be also some fines for delaying, and some taxes for using of the library, and rarely is allowed to take more than 3 books; to say nothing about the fact that this is official library to the Embassy and everybody have to feel pleased to be allowed to have access to it. Yet at the same time there is one more of your staff members, this time I will call her shushoo memasho (SM for short [what in Mbarurian means sugary mademoiselle]), who is sugary, I don't exaggerate here, and looks about 30-some, who has said to me, and this several times (I have written even emails ones or twice to ask whether I can keep books for such long time), that I can keep the books for up to 3 months, where I have kept them usually for 2 months and a pair of days, and as to the number of book she has said usually also 2, but has not shown displeasure if I take by 4 books.

     And, as you can well see, there is a difference between 2 and 4 books, and especially between 1 and 3 months, and I will explain you now why this is of such importance for me, to make me write an email to the very Ambassador. So, you see, I simply can't allow myself to use city transport for this occasion, because I am a pensioner and receive only about … 3 bus tickets per day for all expenses, and come by my own two feet from about New Suburb - 2, what has to be a distance of 6-7 km, for I walk for 1.5 hours in one direction only; and this is not only big load for my years but it takes more than half a day, rather a whole day (and I have now no more time — I work, ha, ha, for the posterity). I have explained this to the BN and to the SM and their reactions were like I said (and I fixed this in their names). The reason why I have such funny low pension, is that I have studied too much for our botched transitional period (that has still not ended), and not worked for more than a quarter of a century. In this way, stressed that you are right even in the worst for me scenario if the BN is right, I have no other choice as to stop using your library, at least for some years (one never knows what the future will bring), or to beg you to grant me some special rights as reader!

     OK, now about the reasons why I am bold enough to beg you for such drastic exceptions (I will explain them very soon) from the other readers, which can be called VIP user, or Honored user, or with Exclusive rights, or the like, where, if you want, you can make them standard and apply also to other, similar or not, but by your choice, persons. Id est, this has to be some nominative scheme that will be granted personally, and for me life-long, as far as my identity documents last until I am alive; I may be the first such person but the way will be already paved for others. The simplest reason is that I am, I suppose, the oldest of your readers, on 68 [then], and you must have not so many readers — I suppose about 50 and no more than a 100. The other reason is that I am, probably, with higher educational level, I have, as I put it, 2.5 tertiary educations, received in 3 different countries, and know 3.5 foreign languages (except Bulgarian, and the half is the Mbarurian). I am also, this surely, yet I can not put "the hand in the fire", the poorly living with this pension of 170. lv monthly ([85 Euro then] what is much better than before, when I received officially nothing, at least for the last 10 years and lived alone).

     Yet there are more serious reasons, although I will not give you proofs for them, which put me in the category of "men of the pen", intellectuals, writers. I don't want to give you proofs for this because I work entirely anonymous, what allows me to be a fair critic of our, Bulgarian, yet in some cases also generally human, behaviour, and I am not published in Bulgaria, I am, so to say Internet emigrant, where I have, counted as titles, about 50 books, counted as ebooks about 100, and counted by chapters a bit up 200, and this excluding my verses (which in Bulgarian exceed 10,000 lines), and this in 3 languages. So this about my major pseudonym, but there is also other my recent pseudonym, under which I have just a pair of papers, yet in 4 languages, and intend to add a pair of things more, where in one of the materials I have examples for translation of verses from Mbarurian (say, from Dinbone Basooki's children book "La famsa spedita fru le baeri en Lagono" in English [where the name of the book means "The famous expedition of the bears to the lake Lagono, in western Mbaruruland"]), also of verses and acrostics in Russian and Bulgarian; this name I also will not reveal, but, as an exception, I can tell it to you personally, if you show a desire for this (i.e., to give you an address of, even Mbarurian, site, where you can find me). More than this, because just in the moment I am writing one book with, like I call them, Arubets (but don't know whether I have coined properly this name) as the style of verses of the famous Mbarurian 15th century Duba Aruba, the so called threebunets, this time in Bulgarian, and I will not publish it for some time, an year or two, and I give no titles here, so I will attach at the end the 13th of my threebunets (in Bulgarian [it was so originally, but I translated it with much efforts in English for my readers, who are supposed not to know Mbarurian]); if you occasionally like it, I can send you one more if you choose a number from 1 to 51 (because this is the number for the verses in the book, which I have written till the moment). Yet mark, please, that I am NOT some officially recognized Bulgarian intellectual, I am rather democratic dissident, so that if you are interested in maintaining good relations with our authorities you must be warned that I don't maintain good ones in my turn with them.

     And what are the chief special or VIP requirements that I want for using of your library granted to me personally, Chris Myrski, EGN 5005xxxxxx [this is our unique security number, not given entirely]? Well, to be allowed to take up to 4 book (even 5 if you like so) and to keep them for up to 3 months, this is all. Else I will stop, as said, to use the services of your CuCeMba for some years. But this being personal I must have some written document, a letter, signed by you, that I am allowed to this, and have a copy of it, life-long, for me to be able to confirm this always (the easiest way is to receive it at CuCeMba the next time when I come to you), and receive an email from this BN that he accepts these special rules for me (not that he was wrong, no, he is quite right to want to make career). Ah, but if you establish special rules for a group of people, then can be said that the books are 5, and that such people can take also up to 3 books with aboriginal paintings yet for up to 7 or 10 days. If you decide to show even bigger than this fair will you may include also offering a coffee (yet without cognac, I suppose), or some nice bonbons, or to give the staff orders to try to keep nice small talk with such eminent readers (as to: how you like the weather today, or have you had nice sleep today, or what are your further creative plans, or the like). (Or you may also allow using of your … toilet premises, what can sometimes be of real necessity for me).

     So that's it. If I have bored you much I even beg you to say no to this my blabber, because I need you chiefly as incentive in my works (like this try in Basooki's verses, or the idea about Duba-Aruba-style threebunets, and others). But when I have much "incentives" I simply come in Zeitnot, I have no time to fulfill them, I have already plans for 5 years ahead (and nobody to help me). And if I so much need more inspirations I can as well use the Internet, surely, so that I can do without library, if need be. Ah, and I can help you sometimes, if you ask me, to explain some of your, Mbarurian, words, providing you with unquestionably unique explanations about the hidden meanings of words or roots. Like what? Well, like, say, why you call your mother mema, or the feminine breasts buba [and here I was bound to change the examples in order not to unmask the country]? Or also what is the idea behind the English "job"? I am sure that you will not guess, but I will, still, postpone the explanation after the 13th Arubet, so that you can give it a thought.


          No 13


     I like to watch at your behind,

     Because for me it is as if some kind

     Of aphrodisiac, that catches all my mind.


     Your naked back is just a piece of art,

     To which I like to sing songs, being bard.


     And I mean, surely, your precious bottom,

     That hits me directly at prick and scrotum,


     Because it is a fundament for me

     For woman's uteral anatomy.


     So that when you are even dressed and simply walk,

     Your bottom pulls like magnet at my cock,

     And I am then your faithful dog.


     OK, and the 'mema', surely, is built around the syllable 'am- /ma' which is imitational word and is spread in all Indo-European languages, and which combines the sucking sound 'am-' with the crying sound 'ma'. You can alone take examples in every language, also in those of some Eskimo people, and I have found the only exception in the Japanese, where this word was … 'haha', while the polite word is something saint, built with adding of –san. Then the 'buba'-breast [my clear invention, I confess] is built also as some imitation of something big, swelled, decaying, like in the Arabic 'boza' (known throughout the Asian south). And as to the English "job" can be cited the Arabic 'dzhebah' or 'dzhaib' (known in Bulgarian exactly like 'dzhob', and meaning just a pocket, so that this is some niche, where one can exist or find something useful for him.


     Excuse me for the bothering and I will wait for an answer till about DD MMM, else have to come to return the books for last time a pair of days after this time.


     Chris Myrski / chris_myrski@yahoo.com /

     ?? MMM 201x


— — — — —


     [Now, I suppose that you see, that every more or less polite person would have said something, at least "Sorry, but we can't make exceptions". What leads me to the conclusion that this is a nice example for the, let me call it so, common civil barbarity! This might be, most probably done by our Bulgarian staff there (like in every embassy), but this may be the usual habit of those Mbarurian people, no matter who they are. And let me repeat that they will surely lose nothing satisfying my bizarre wishes, because I really walked one and a half hours on feet in one only direction, in summer or winter, such efforts have just to be honoured. To say nothing about the whole lack of commiseration with my hard living conditions, but trying to give something to the people, be it serious, be it popular, be it funny, or some combination of these things. However it is, I don't intend to walk anymore to CuCeMba, not me. Everything is all tight, if we don't count the barbarity. ]

 





 


 

 


 

 

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