BARBARIA, MY POOR LAND,
I MOURN 'CAUSE THERE'S NO AMEND
(Sixty Six Humorous Sextets) — English Adaptation
By Ivancho Jotata, known also as Ochnavi Atatoj, Ivan Bugarow, Jotabash Giaurgi, Nostradamus Buladamus, and other cloning names
[ Abstract: This is English adaptation, what means translation of translatable, i.e. of prosaic part, of one unexpected poetical impromptu of mine, written in the end of corona and protest for Bulgaria 2020 year, which I have never thought to write before, but when our people continue to protest (for half an year) then how can Jotata stay silent? This time these are sextets of type ABABBA, which begin like usual 4-lines rhymed by a line and then reflecting the last 2 lines in a mirror, so that we get 2 triple rhymes. These miniatures in the most shameless (yet deserved) manner spit at our democratic "achievements", that put us at the rightful last place in the European Union. Here in sense of sarcasm the colleague Botev remains far behind the author (thinks the latter). If you like the democracy, our and generally, then do not waste your time in reading of such vomit works (is the advice of the author). ]
[ Idea for illustration of the cover: Hm, in the original is meant some lectern, (the title says that "I cry from the lectern"), on which in the churches are put the important books, the annals, but in this case this stand has to be state's one, with a pair of lions ahead, or which support it, and behind it has to stand the modest Jotata (who, being a midget, may have even stepped on a podium). Yeah, but it will be better if the lion here is one, and to be ridden by Jotata, and the stand can be fastened over his mane, in this way it will be more intriguing. And it will be even better if the artist depicts the lion … standing on his hind legs, as if a horse. What concerns Bulgarian barbarian public, it is better if it will be shown from the back (as symbol for its reluctance to listen to this lion-rider). And even better if there will be little arrows which come out of bubbles, where is written, respectively: "Jotata", "lectern", "Bar-bar-ia". That's it, and as picture in a frame, with dimensions 450 x 450 pixels, under the author and the title. ]
CONTENTS
Foreword
Word (sixty six humorous sextets)
Afterword
FOREWORD
Sirs, this book I had, naturally, no intention to write, but when, for one thing, our people protest, raise noise not knowing what exactly they want, yet make noise (because now is the moment), and, for another thing, I have gained momentum in this jubilee for me year (I made 70), having written one after another (well, under different name) 5-6 poetical collections with various foolish things, by a month for a book and then the next one, and decided to produce something also under this name, and, for a third thing, I continue to have grudge against the entire Bulgarian public for this, that it, as we say, does not count me even for a plum, so that I meet every occasion for spitting with open arms and joy in my heart. And there, of course, are reasons to spit at everything and everybody in my country, because we, since the coming of this damned thing, the democracy, either sink further down, or stick to the mud, but there is no escaping it! Now we are absolutely a bit better than before some 30 years, but relatively, compared with other near and far, post- or non- communist countries, we are always at the end, worse than in the third world, really!
Let me give you at least one comparison: I personally, scientific worker, ancestral intellectual, with more than 2 tertiary educations, got in 3 different countries, and having in the time of my "sunset" good command over 3 foreign languages (plus my mother Bulgarian), having written only under this pseudonym for 3 years more than 30 different papers with valuable observations and propositions, which I have by my hand translated in 4 languages, still receive pension in amount of 4 (going to 5) ... bus tickets daily for all expenses (and these are all my earnings). Or otherwise put, my pension equals 1/3 MMS (Minimal Monthly Salary), what is 7 times less than the average one (if we take it for 2 and 1/3 minimal ones), which is roughly 7 times worse than the average situation in Europe, or till here only 50 times lower income than the minimal, yet I, after all, am not some nincompoop, so that I can with reasons say, that receive at least 100 (hundred) times less than this what I deserve (because I continue to work before the computer at least 6 hours daily, and twist verses in the nights)! Well, such like me have remained probably about hundred persons in the country, at most thousand, but these who live below whatever limits of misery (poverty is a nice word, dignified), despite the integration money that they receive [we have introduced for some years even such wonders — because have done everything possible to disintegrate the nation], plus their pension (or have not even the latter), so these people are of the order of 1 million souls, gentlemen!
Because I, as "learned" (according to the anecdote [we have a series of anecdotes about the learned people, where the most representative is that: The learned is capable of everything — you close him even in the water closet and he will find what to … eat there!]), can manage well with some 2 to 3 times less money than the others, I am for the moment also kerngesund, where the others spend a heap of money for medicaments, so that all incomes below even one whole MMS (600 lv [or 300 Euro] roughly in 2020) per person are taken for poor earnings, and 1/2 MMS is already miserable income for the major part of Bulgarians. And this is consequence only of our democracy, of the bad model of it, not of one or another political party but of all of them taken together, yet nobody, from the top to the bottom of population, cares about this, the people just don't know what to do, everybody looks to grasp as much as he can and while he can, what is unmoral according to every religion! Glad are only the young ones, because they have no basis for comparison and nobody scolds them that they want only to screw, some 10 percents or so small tradesmen and workmen, who work for nothing and wipe each other's … #sses, so to say, and are able to pay to other colleagues for some things, with money taken from the same other persons yet for something else, and some 3-4 % business and political oligarchy, who run big money, but their offspring are nearly all drug addicts. Add to this also the lack of whatever morality in a country of unbelievers, the absence of families as building block of the society, the blossoming of homosexuality, the decline of civilization worldwide, and some other details, and it turns out that now we are leading, definitely, much more dissolute life than our parents and grandparents!
But enough moralizing, gaudeamus igitur, or let us rejoice a little with funny verses addressed at people, who are far from the troubles of ordinary Bulgarians. Because in this situation of national protests each one takes part in his own way, or like the poet [Ivan Vazov] has put it, and in my paraphrasing:
[The rhyme is of the type AABBCCDD and I think that have bettered the rhyming and the rhythm, yet drastically changed the meaning (to make it sound up to date). All verses, as said, are not rhymed, and as near as possible to the original, where are used many untranslatable jargon words.]
Every different age, class, gender, and occupation,
has taken part in this activity,
only the wealthier has secluded himself and scratches his … prick;
and there is no learned left, the shipment is in the West.
All girls have become cashiers,
all boys go crazy with heads like flasks,
and he, poor, naked, barefooted, without money,
rummages in … garbage cans, and threads verses like beads!
And it can be even said that this is one new "Epopee of the forgotten", only that while Vazov has meant forgotten by the people heroic personalities, Jotata means forgotten by the masses obvious reasons for our messes, that are reduced chiefly to lack of accord and unity on basic questions of our reality, to shifting of the accents of the politics, and, ultimately, to the barbarity of a nation of unbelievers, which has lost whatever morality it has had, because it was pro-communist one. In this situation there are only two future tendencies before is, and we are making bold steps on both paths. On one hand this is the moving of everyone who can do this abroad — saving of the rats from the sinking ship, yet the rats are brave and intelligent animals, they are not to be despised —, and on the other hand, this is the increasing of non-Bulgarian ethnicity, which ethnos, as a rule, is more moral than us! When moving of not big amount of (barbarian) Bulgarians amidst civilized nations we manage good and fast to do well there, and also better the gene in those countries, they accept us probably because of this. And when increasing of ethnical Turks and Arabs by us we also became more composed and respectful to the others, which qualities we usually lack. Id est, these both ways are not only unavoidable, but also natural and right, from this win all, both we and the others, yet this under condition that we can not or want not to search some coalition with Slavonic nations, that we reject the traditional for us Russophilia from the Revival times [of freeing from Turkish yoke in the end of 19-th century)]. Yeah, but nobody shows the things in such light.
Now something about the very verses. Well, they are sextets, how it is said in the subtitle, and when so I have decided that they have to be exactly 66 (sixty six), and they begin like usual 4-line couplet with alternating rhymes, of the type ABAB, yet later the last 2 lines are reflected like in mirror and give ABABBA, where are 2 rhyming triplets, what is not so easy for writing, but Jotata searches difficulties (he also with the girls looks that they have it smaller, right?), and also using pretty crazy words here and there this turns not to be very difficult. As in this zero number couplet, for acquaintance [without rhymes]:
* * *
Let us now try this here sextet
with pretty strangely mixed six lines.
It's suitable for every single poet,
and how I look now at it,
I can foresee the next advancement
of my poetical … shabby cart.
So that, on the road, my not many readers, 400 poetical lines await you.
[ And let me add at the end that the original Bulgarian title says literally "My Barbary Land, Cry I From The Lectern (Sixty Six Humorous Sextets)", but I found the current title as more suitable in English. Also all verses here are 34 %, i.e. 1/3 of the whole volume and they are somehow translated, you will get the basic idea, while 2/3 are translated exactly, plus that on many places are given additional explanations, so that you will lose not much, in this way the material is perfect for initial acquaintance, if you don't know Bulgarian language.
Ah, and because I use a heap of jargon words I will explain them more or less, but for the citing of Bulgarian words I will need to use one widely met, in the old and the new languages, vowel, which is like in your "girl", and which I will mark as 'y'; also with single quotes I will give the reading; then 'j' will be used for softening of the consonants, while 'h' will be for hardening, and together with this 'j' will be used for making of diphthongs (like in may-'maj'), and 'h' for prolongation of vowels; plus that the usage of 'ch, sh, zh' must be obvious. ]
Nov. 2020, Sofia, Barbaria (given usually as Bulgaria, for euphony)
WORD
(Sixty Six Humorous Sextets)
I am bloody thankful to NSSI
for our domestic … stupidities!
From this pustule erupted firstly the pus and,
because it still can't be washed clean,
I mourn for my poor nation,
which becomes fat with democratic lies!
[Rem.: NSSI is our Social Security Institute that establishes and pays all pensions.]
* * *
Instance national of experts,
who pacify and feed the citizens like hens
with their services and offers.
They mix such sticky mashes,
that a decent person is already scared
and sends them to the deserved hell.
[Rem.: Here are used Russian words for the hens and the devil.]
Rem. Let me squeeze only that the Latin word expertus, taking into account also English "pert" as perky or cheeky, has to be translated as "self-boasting insolent fellow"! In any case it is usually spoken about experts there, where the persons don't have other titles or ranks (like engineer, doctor, colonel, etc.), and this happens mostly in higher state institutions (although it is possible that in some commercial companies are applied similar names, because the people there have no special diplomas, as a rule).
* * *
Or let us take thereafter the President —
but he is just sitting there before all.
It turns that this is where the accent is put,
his sitting becomes his constant habit.
What of it, that something was wrong by us?
Ah, this chair is so cozy, like a … placenta!
* * *
He meets and sees off guests,
shake hands, pats on the back.
But would he now begin to fast
when many were starving with hunger?
To catch the 'kelepir'-gain, of course;
if he will lose it, God will not forgive him!
* * *
Or let us move to the former communists —
but they are now even not socialists!
They are just agile, as if are … worms,
and flood you at once with nice words,
yet don't give a dime to their native people,
and are simply artists, even mediocre!
Rem.: The last decent communist was Zhan Videnov, to whom the UDF-followers hurried to "blow under the tail" [as we say, i.e. to chuck him off], but also his people immediately abandoned him, as they have done with "Uncle Tosho" [Todor Zhivkov] earlier.
* * *
Yet the left-wing is necessary under miserable life,
if you want only for balancing!
Their centering is not the proper approach,
but external shine, farce, apparent glaze,
in order to hide their carreeristic arrogance
from the eyes of people looking at them.
* * *
They have renounced bright ideals,
instead of adjusting and adapting them,
and have begun to blow bubbles of words,
to copy rotten grips from the right-wing forces,
and as result of this they degrade slowly,
without proposing shield from big money capitals.
* * *
They have never fought to blood,
but have grown fat like boars.
The people were nothing, and their words bait,
to force others to work, yet for nothing.
They show in bad light the memory of fallen comrades;
long ago have they ceased to be avant-garde of the people.
* * *
But they are flowers in parallel with the UDF,
which party in its malice has even … dirtied its pants;
has sh#tted its bottom, but even the sparrow
is able to squirt faeces outside of its nest!
Yet what could these people do when they were crazy
to sit around the government table and to grab the money.
[Rem.: As if on the West is not used the idiom, that something is a flower compared with something else, meaning that this is very good thing, but by the Slavs this is used. Also UDF is the notorious Union of Democratic Forces, which, chiefly, if you ask me, ruined Bulgaria with its immaturity and silly idealism (where are no ideals at all, in the right ideas — in my view).]
* * *
Besides, this party since its very birth,
has begun to peel off like a head of onion!
But it isn't possible for something glued only with hatred
to last long, here some love is needed!
Because of this for 10 years it turned to garbage,
which arouses only pity in anyone.
* * *
Together with this it is utterly dishonest
to cross out two generations,
just because the third was born
in a world which does not care for the previous victims,
and there's no way not to curse at the end
this monster-child, it should have been gelded!
* * *
'Cause the UDF is dead, it kicked the bucket,
but new shoots sprout out,
which shame us in front of whole Europe,
being for ten years in incessant crises!
We live miserably around mountains with money —
those at the top must be just crazy!
* * *
With zero bank interest rates it has to be clear,
that the banks are brimming with money,
yet every third feels cornered
to spend when necessary even one lev,
because everywhere reigns insecurity;
we swear at our situation every hour.
[Rem.: Lev, meaning lion — and just imagine lions in Bulgaria, say, walking in the mountains taking hands, or swimming in the Black See and sunbathing on the coast — is our currency unit, equal exactly to 0.5 Euro.]
* * *
And what are we to do with those fascists?
But there are three parties in the Parliament,
and the same amount are also gathering activists!
Where have gone the brains of these youngsters?
Yet when we are trudging at the end of Europe
it turns that they have clear intentions!
* * *
Yeah, sure, but only with ideals
is done nothing on this world.
And if in addition one comes fast in fire
then later he often … gets whacked!
Together with this, since twentieth century,
people have got that the fascism leads to nothing good.
* * *
So that it does not solve our problems,
but there are masses that back it up;
on the background of our desperate poverty
it is for some people bright and heavenly slogan.
It is … firecracker, but until hunger reigns
will demagogues not overcome it with slogans!
[Rem.: In the original I use for the fascism Turkish word fishek, what is something that says 'fyss', like New year crackers, what correlates very well with Latin fascio as wooden stick — I have explained this somewhere.]
* * *
But the fascism is also child of UDF-coalition,
it is not exactly like the communism!
Together with the general, and the King's party
it is part of right-wing dividing or schism.
And in this I see again the stupidity —
that prevailing is once more time the malice!
[Rem.: Here, with the stressing that the fascism is not like the communism, I disagree with the known by us book of 'Zhelju Zheljev' named "Fascism", where he speaks about it but means the communism, because there are some similar features between both poles, naturally, this is marked for millenniums, this is dialectically sound, yet they still differ (more than are alike). Then the general mentioned here is our 'Bojko Borisov', the boss of GERB-party, which is obviously right-wing, like also that of the King, who was not exactly crowned as such. And the malice or hatred (or, then, the competition) between the very fascists is also obvious, because they don't unite, no, they all insist that only they are the true and sincere fascists, and hate with bitter malice the communists (with whom they as if are equal, according this Zhelev book).]
* * *
To differ with something, to fight permanently,
but never to be unanimous even in a single thing!
With such spirit we will find it difficult
to show upswing between the stronger countries.
We will be never all well-fed, with full bellies,
and will starve one another with hunger!
* * *
When it is impossible to split the left-wing powers,
the right-wing ones can never be united!
Our heads are peppery like turnips,
and for this reason foreign habits
don't work by us, we tighten belts,
and are ready to murder even our brother!
* * *
This is called barbarity, people,
in a united nation all are like one.
I don't know how long will this last,
but by us behaves everybody like … scoundrel!
And in this way we harm one another,
and this has driven out the cream of our nation.
* * *
With this idea we hate the communists,
who are mafia, definitely.
Yet they moved in flock,
and wanted that the good was inborn by us,
or equalized us convinced in this.
But today we just trot over the other person!
* * *
We jump from one extremity into another — why?
But surely because have brains like … gull!
Only rush change makes us happy,
while moderation gives us yawn;
we stifle our impetus, while everybody barks,
and as result of this — again stagnation!
Rem.: Let me turn your attention at this curiosity (for some of you), that out of eager wish for fast change we come to the directly opposite state, to incessant stagnation! A good visualization here can be had with the picture of senile tremor of the muscles: they shrink for a time and then expand for a time, and as result of this no movement happens. Exactly like by us!
* * *
We tried all possible ways and tricks,
but in a world where the lie reigns,
at the top appear always scoundrels and rogues,
who scoop the honey with a spoon,
and push to our bowls
peels, husks, stalks, bare bunches!
* * *
We had, for example, farmers party,
who have come to us even with … 'shmausers'.
and in age when for a long time are not working,
and have shown not a single … naked 'badzhak'-leg!
But who will run after such banner?
The citizens don't want to become villagers.
[Rem.: Here are used 3 invented words, that can be guessed if one is fluent in the Bulgarian, but the chief allusion is about one Anastasia Moser, who has decided to revive our farmers parties, yet she was probably 70, and nobody liked her especially, more so with this name sounding like German Schmeiser or your Mauser. I am making fun of her but the fact is that nowadays nobody wants to become farmer and go to live in some village, all are moving in the reverse direction; because of this the returning of agricultural land in its real borders was one of the first (and surely not last) big mistakes of UDF.]
* * *
And also businessmen, with three B-s,
had intention to … pick out our lice.
They would have warmed us like stoves,
until we blossomed, but — nothing of the kind!
So that our 'Ganju' was not much lucky,
he remained forever in a dead-end line.
[Rem.: Here are several things not clear for a foreigner. A party with 3 B-s we have had, this was Bulgarian Business Block (which sounds perfectly also in English, as you see), built by one Georgi Ganchev, called also in a French manner 'Zhorzh', so that he is 'Ganju', what sounds alike to our literary hero 'Baj Ganju', who was a brilliant example of one who looks everywhere for a kelepir-gain, and is also barbarian, surely.]
* * *
Social democrats, tender people,
were ready to sit around the table;
they, probably, could have pulled us from the mud,
leading us by slightly sloping paths.
Yet left-wing thing can't step firmly
with both legs, because everyone … hates it!
[Rem.: This is also true, we had one Social-democratic party which succeeded to gather 3.95 % (as far as I remember) of the votes, but we have low limit of 4 % for entering in the Parliament; I don't want to say that they would have been a panacea for us, yet who knows?]
* * *
Because the left-wing thing wants to teach us!
Yet not us, who care only to fill our guts!
And one ASO party before this does not succeed,
and also Zhan was not accepted with great enthusiasm.
Because of this the left-wing clenches the fist, and — bamm!
If hits somebody, to whine like a dog.
[Rem.: The ASO was the first left-wing sprout back in 1990, it is long ago forgotten, and it succeeded to do nothing in its time, but it was deciphered as Alternative Socialist Union, and had the good intention to reform the communists. Then Zhan Videnov was the last sincere communist, who took on himself the hatred of the right-wing lumpens (and his comrades did nothing to defend him). Anyway, I want to say, that the left-wing are forced by the people around to clench the fist, or else to give up the fight, to what they do not agree.]
* * *
If we were just a little religious,
and used to listen to fables about the good,
then at the left would have been possible
schisms, battles, but when not one hits on a rib,
because by barbarian people
are the other ways too difficult!
Rem.: Sirs, these are philosophical judgements, but they are not so complicated, so that we could not have been in position to grasp them, if we wanted to. There are religious countries, where the people are, really, like one flock, and it moves to where is led — what is both, good and bad, naturally. Only that we are not such people, and the left-wing are simply forced to unite, because they are the weak, obviously (at least in etymological aspect this is so for the whole world, with the exception of us, due to the fact that we have taken as "right" the Greek "desios", what is not similar with the justified or correct thing); yet there are not only the communists who raise such slogans, to remind you about the inscription above our National Assembly that "In the unity is the power", and about the fable concerning our Khan Kubrat and the bunch of sticks (which turns to be at least Latin, from it is derived the name of the … fascists — but let me not divert from the topic now). So that the unity of the left-wing is logical, this logic sounds pretty exaggerated in peaceful times, yet it exists; like in the disuniting of the right-wing is also hidden some logic — the survival of the fittest —, and there the uniting happens after the splitting, where people stick to the stronger like flies to honey, what is practical, but also silly; still, in the right-wing thing there is no righteousness, no reason, there is only strength, on what I will dwell also a bit later.
* * *
While the right-wing thing splits alone,
just how it glues alone later,
because it is like each living thing, each … creature,
that runs to where something for eating is given,
or is promised with the big strength;
there is no reason there, on the right it … sleeps!
* * *
Or if it's reasonable — let not me say that isn't —,
then on a level of a dog, of beast!
By the humans, alas, this logic works.
there the girl chooses to be "screwed"
by the stronger, or put more decently:
The common people are "meat", the stronger "picks" it!
* * *
So also in the current days, our general
was chosen because of his big … head!
I don't say that it is that below, and he has f#cked us,
but he has reached the higher ceiling
with … phallic advertising, feeling no shame!
Yet why not, when the people have chosen him?
Rem.: Listen, people, I beg to be excused if I am shocking some of you (yet I also am shocked by the total disregard of the entire Bulgarian public to me, and this without whatever reason), but the advertising of 'Bojcho", from the very beginning of his career, consisted in showing of his head in close-up, wasn't it so? Exactly this is the truth. This can not be called literally so by the PR-persons but, say, bettering of the image, make up, so to say, seduction of the voters, insinuations, etc. (like also the naked breasts of various girls, e.g., if they are cashiers in banks; or then taking a picture of the King seated at a high chair; or showing of short people only sitting; and other similar techniques), yet a person with necessary dignity should not make use of such low tricks. But, how is it possible to speak about dignity in the politics or business, there the important thing is to grasp the bone! [And let me add also that in Bulgarian we speak about two heads by masculine persons, where the top of the prick is called head, too.]
* * *
People cling to the right-wing thing
in order to grasp something also for themselves;
from the left-wing, in its turn, they are afraid,
that will investigate even their … loins!
The worst is by barbarians, who will ruin
their future with their carelessness!
* * *
Now, probably, a media magnate,
or business boss will stretch a hand.
Out of appetite, or obstinately —
when the easy coin begins to bore him.
Because we have tried with the King, and he ran away,
and there's no God, or He hides — smart Guy!
* * *
The best is caretaker Government,
which performs only unavoidable tasks.
But this seems too insignificant to us,
and it will be something mixed, melange.
We want a victim, cry "come here" —
hoping to … f#ck him, when he falls down.
* * *
Well, it is better in the middle,
but this isn't good for barbarians.
They search the crest of the wave, definitely,
and this when favourable wind blows.
One will not become famous with moderation —
yet otherwise will tumble head over tail!
* * *
But there is another moment by us,
that in the middle is always the MRF party,
what makes many of us to freeze,
because there march cheerfully the Turks,
and can stick it us … up the #ss!
So that it isn't like to say: not a big deal.
[Rem.: MRF is Movement for Rights and Freedom (DPS in Bulgarian), which party is definitely ethnic, and exactly of the Turkish minority, and we don't like much the Turks because have been whole five centuries under their yoke, plus that they wait every moment to cease to be minority more. So that you can see well that this isn't decision for us!]
* * *
Although we are for them like an … apple of the eye,
because we are Europe, they will appreciate this!
Why must they take our land?
No, they will help us, lift us,
so that to make the Western world wonder —
when we are not more hand in hand with Russia!
* * *
Because it is so: for Russophobes
are the Turks by us now welcomed.
Compared with the Turkey we are … microbes;
why not to melt the snow of hate?
If somebody does not like this — why had he not run away!
So that we'll slurp what have put in the bowl!
* * *
Well, it is true that their names
are pricking to pain our teary eyes,
but probably they will alone convince themselves,
to become Slav- or Euro- seeing!
Because the names are a kind of … trousers!
Let them put on a new model, if they want!
Rem.: I am not fantasizing, or then am fantasizing only probable things, because the Hebrews have for a long time been trying to adapt to the nations among which they live, and it was so in its time in Germany (for example Heinrich Heine was of Hebrew origin, yet this is not seen by his name), and in Russia there are a heap of Leos ('Lev'-s), and other examples. You just cast a look at the names of activists of MRF, and will see that there is not a single name which can be understandable to a person even from the West, to say nothing about the Slavs, so that I think that they, little by little, will perceive the truth (like, to give an example, the women as if already begin to get "warm", that the exaggerated emancipation has brought nothing good to them). Or, put in another way, the communists were right practically about everything [also about the campaign for changing of the names of Turks in Bulgaria, at 1990], only that their methods were not adequate to the moment, the people had to be lured more, instead of to be forced!
* * *
But everything goes according to the matters,
and who has little brains suffers later.
So that when we see every Russian in black light,
then will sit with Turks and Arabs around one table;
I hope that my metaphor is not dim,
because hardly will be found something more right than this.
[Rem.: Here I make one pun, I use deliberately Bulgarian word 'bljad' instead of 'bled'-wan-or-dim, what is not correct, but the point is that in Russian the first word is indecent and means a broad or slut; I do this because of the rhyme, but this is also a nice touch for me.]
* * *
Together with this the anti-communism, too,
meshed heavily what we have in our "mugs"!
For this reason we reach also to the fascism,
but this will not succeed to help us —
not because I like the left-wing things,
but because this is the right prism!
* * *
Because of this said once Jotata, enough,
with all old parties when they can't help us,
and so he invented his NAPUK party.
For the reason that all others set on hatred,
but it is necessary with understanding to be laid
the foundations of unity, what is a different approach!
* * *
Because, look here, exists symbiosis
between different objects, like in the sex,
where between the differences blossoms like a rose
unison in some aspect, in the context.
In this way the differences are remedy
for saving of the system, this is not a pose.
* * *
The necessary thing here is only the respect
for the other, of his interests.
And, if this is so, then there is no question
that the whole "dough" will be well kneaded;
but if it isn't so then at least one of them will get mad,
and will begin mutual kicking in the system!
* * *
And in the interest of the poor is to live
as he likes, yet if there is enough chow;
even if one waves his … "prick",
he must be healed, sheltered, fed, and taught!
If it is possible to fulfil these things,
then let's do them, if we feel us like humans!
* * *
Till recently this was not possible, but today,
on the background of various surrogates,
to achieve this is like humoresque,
yet we don't want to do it, right? Ah, f#ck it!
Only if one pays for this with his exploitation!
And this is where our big error lies.
* * *
You will not make even a beast
to pull a cart, when plagued by hunger.
Or a girl to lie with you,
if you treat her like a bastard.
Without low threshold is the pauper in checkmate;
he curses his country with bad words!
* * *
Yet, as I said, all has to be with dignity,
not after you kiss somebody's hand!
Today everything is known, without asking the … stars,
who on what lives, by EGN of everybody, right?
And not only to such who are dying, or are crippled;
to each is given first, to make him quiet!
[Rem.: EGN in Bulgaria is equivalent to the unique security number.]
* * *
Because when one is quiet he tries
to give out of himself all what he can,
to step forward the others with at least something —
in this will not mislead you even a beast!
This is due to the fact that the care is important,
and it is seen when the money is handed!
* * *
To this let me stress on that moment,
that if we make well our calculations,
we will empty exactly this money "dam",
which we fill with what we put there!
Plus that we will become famous before the whole world
with this unique Bulgarian patent!
* * *
If we will not do this, we will suffer much —
I will list now some variants for you —,
because while we sit with crossed hands
are nearly ready the Turkish "suspenders",
to raise our pants, and also farriers
will give us horseshoes even winged!
* * *
I don't say that this will be worse for us.
And where to with naked bottom in Europe?
They will … circumcise us right away — without problems!
Yet when we have a screw loose,
there as if will be better to hit the bucket, ah?
Well, it will soon be seen, and heard.
* * *
Together with this we are taken also from within,
and soon the minority will be we?
The man as if hides from his bride
this, what he has under his belly.
Yet I don't think that we will disappear —
the "cream" will spread itself in the diaspora.
* * *
I foresee also an … ARABI party,
who will come to revive us anew.!
But when as nation we are quite weak,
why other ones should not flourish around us?
Well, it is clear that they will … substitute us,
but a dead horse does not kick, it's to no purpose!
Rem.: This pretty nice-looking party will be deciphered [and of course in Bulgarian the initials give exactly ARABI-Arabs] as follows: Agrarian-Workers' Alliance for Fast Growth, so that here, as you see, are hidden no ethnical allusions.
* * *
Together with this, for political balance,
I can discern also a … BARUT party!
This will be one modern alliance,
arisen, so to say, at once in this moment.
There will enter everyone definitely … crazy,
who searches his chance to … fight with NATO!
Rem.: The name BARUT [what means gunpowder] is quite harmless, namely: Bulgarian Vanguard for Radical Successes on the Territory.
* * *
Our people will stay meek as sheep,
or will cry: "Uuh, resignation, down!".
Will hate the communism — Oh, my goodness! —,
and will proudly boast with their … naked bottoms!
Wise voice may be occasionally heard solo,
but chiefly abroad, here the fool is omniscient!
Rem.: Just like me, your Jota, now, who speaks, but nobody listens! The people simply do not want to exit out of their Internet space (which can be adjusted with the instruments of each browser, but who is to do this; outside of our country Bulgarian is not spoken, and the common person does not know other languages — for if he knows, he will already not stay by us), so that I am practically not read. Well, after a decade, post factum (or mortem), someone will probably come to my works, but people want actions, while I only scold them (albeit with reason).
* * *
If someone thinks, that I exaggerate, he's wrong,
because: how long can one endure?
With what can one now be consoled?
Ha, farther back than the last is not possible!
Maybe we have to call a Gypsy woman to read the future?
But something obviously must be decided!
* * *
If we continue in the same way: "You've voted, and behave!
There's nothing better than the democracy!",
then who can — runs away, for not to hear stupidities.
And here is the awkward for us theme,
that this does not at all solve our problems,
while I want the evil in its heart to pierce!
* * *
And the evil is again in the model,
in the extremity, yet this time to the right.
We have as if rotated a crank,
have reverted the things, but it is clear,
that we are feeling even more cornered,
because are remaining without social … umbrella!
[Rem.: here the last word is in the original in English.]
* * *
But, people, why we wage wars?
Why we kill each other in agiotage?
If we forget this, when new people are born,
will come new stupidities, or in a new edition!
Isn't it time, oh God, not to make twice the same error?
Have we brains, after all, or are … plasmodia?
[Rem.: I am not sure whether the readers understand, that we wage wars chiefly for economic reasons, because there are not enough goods for everybody, but I continue to explain this further.]
* * *
Isn't it already time to perceive:
to where can be used money in the world of capital?
Because we do not understand this.
For this reason the animals are better than us,
while we live and strive only for the sake of money;
we warm our hearts on a golden glow!
* * *
One thing are capitals as power,
as rudder, or conductor's baton,
and quite another is to accumulate them as … fat,
as chief living occupation or plaything,
which makes our soul pitiable!
But there's no God, to teach us this!
* * *
Then comes the mess with the exploitation:
either to the last breath, or not at all!
Why everything must be with full cup?
Let us exploit one another without howls,
but with love, and who wants — him!
Not that on it to depend our destiny!
* * *
Also the morality we carried to the garbage cans —
why we need it, when this does not fill the guts?
But in this way one becomes worse than a dog,
one has to listen to wise persons,
because else in the society comes drought,
and this, that must leave sprouts, droops!
[Rem.: Here are used some difficult for translation words, but the meaning is roughly this.]
* * *
And we never use the necessary measure, alas!
While life is everlasting compromise.
The humanity in us was killed when we turned to this way,
called so ostentatiously democracy!
Our country is in galloping collapse,
and empties like … punctured bellows!
* * *
And our barbarity is the wreath,
that adorned our lion's mane.
It helps us like a … bear's service,
when one calls a bear to help him.
This extinguishes our efforts,
and this is how we have come to the … 'pizdetz'!
Rem.: Exactly the last word, which is Russian, is quite widely used there and means: bankrupt, sad end, spoiling, maiming, crapping the pants, and other similar things, and is obvious derivative from their 'pizda', which is sometimes called slit, sometimes gash, also pudendum in Latin, or then directly vagina.
AFTERWORD
Well, this is, Ladies and Gentlemen, I finished the tour throughout the political arena of my barbarian land Barbaria or Bulgaria for the last 30 democratic years, that have brought us nothing, but really nothing, good, in relative sense, as I have said this in the Foreword. Absolutely looked we are much better — and I can give as example that one piezo-lighter for a long time costs as much as 1-2 ... eggs, while earlier, under the totalitarian ruling, it was about 50 such things (6 lv if with refill valve, by a price of 0.13 lv an egg), or colour TV set, automatic washing machine, personal car, and so on —, yet this enhancing of the standard is due to purely technical reasons, it has nothing to do with the democracy, which literally wiped us out as a nation! Not that nothing similar could have been expected, because the equal conditions (in this case open market, equal prices, free flow of goods and people, etc.) can lead only to brighter manifestation of the inequality (in this case in economic aspect), but nobody has expected that we can reach such tragic level.
There are objective reasons for this, obviously, but there are also things that are consequence only of the bad model of capitalism, which we have chosen, because the communism, too, was a kind of capitalism, hardly somebody doubts nowadays in this, yet if then we were at the one pole, now we are at the other one, while some middle point can be reached only in highly developed countries, which we are not — and will never be, I will tell you —, so that it is more than obvious that we should have searched, and must search, some reasonable compromise, what presupposes also inevitable uniting around some common platform! Yes, but we don't want compromises, we want, according to the Russian (or rather Polish) phrase 'pan ili propal' [what in rough translation in English will say "either prince or pauper"], and happened the latter. Or can be used the parable about the frog and the shod ox [who was so strong because of the shoes, so that the frog also wanted to be shod], and other allegories, but the truth is that from the allegories we have remained with only the 'gories', so to say (having in mind that 'gore' in Russian means a sorrow)! Nothing new under the Sun, of course, what says us the title of Griboyedov's "Woe from wit" ['Gore'-sorrow 'ot'-from 'uma'-brains].
At the same time, however — let me give you also this example —, one Japan was fully and unconditionally defeated in the Second world war, and what happened later, ah? Well, it happened so that one Japanese businessman (let us call him Kurumuru Nomustava [what is again a pun, this is something like Prickydicky Hardyficky]) has said: well, we are not good in fighting wars, alas, yet proven fact, but let us try on the economic front, what if we will beat these dirty Americans (to whom one whole continent is not enough but they have taken over also two oceans)? And how it is said in the fairy tales: said and done! But this was prominent person in his circles, with influence, and first of all with capitals, plus that the Japanese are united people, such with spirit, not just eager to put their hands on girls, cars, money, and other material goods, so that the thing went well (in the similar way like in his time one genius, evil or not, but genius, the so called Lenin, has said that the communism can succeed exactly in the most backward European, or rather Asian, country, and it succeeded, at least whole 70 years, yet also today up to a great extent, with varied ideas but socialist).
Well, in our territory has sprung one Jotata, who has come to the conclusion that we never, but really never, will succeed to beat the Western economies (to say nothing in military aspect), but we can quite easily stick out in a new field, in the social one, what is also the most important for us! If I had behind my back some Croesus or Rockefeller, or some other financial magnate, then I would have succeeded, positively — if not for other reasons, then at least because the people train animals and succeed, but with softness and goodness, with nice food, and with cares and love. Or if I had strong political, be it even mafia structure behind my back. Or religious support (from the Pope, for example). Yet I don't have it! And because, together with this, the people, my as if readers, have exactly as much brains as a gull and when they come to some of my works on some foreign site — in no case Bulgarian, here one has to pay for everything — they are not at all feeling, that these are great ideas! They may sound utopian, yet they are great, they picture the future of the whole mankind, no more and no less! Plus this the majority of Bulgarians do not guess that they must adjust their browsers for searching in foreign Internet spaces, they do well with the Bulgarian one, and our mafioso politicians and businessmen are also glad with the easy manipulation of such brainless gulls. So that it turns out that even well-meaning readers can not come to useful writings, because they are not published in Bulgaria, i.e. we continue to be the same closed paesane-peasants!
So that there happen such things, but let me, however, return to this poetical booklet, which I wrote (believe me or not) for half a month, if we count the very 66 sextets, because for its finishing is necessary at least as much time. Anyway, from the height of my far over 10 thousand poetical lines, and even in 3 languages, yet chiefly under another pseudonym, I can boldly say that the writing of verses, naturally, is not an easy business, but if one becomes used to this for about 4-5 years (and by me this lasted more than a quarter of a century), then there are not too big problems in this, except to ... find a suitable subject! It is clear that this is so, and this is proved by the classics, who have written quite long pieces based on religious fables or legends. Well, by me the ... erogenous zone, so to say, is the spitting over the democracy!
And as far as some reader may be shocked by such revelation let me add some biographical moments, namely that I left without constant job from 1. Feb. 1990, from the day of the shocking therapy, exactly because I have been taken for very valuable cadre, I had to wait whole 3 months notice before leaving, and from that moment on (when our country has already stepped on the way to democracy, ha-ha) I remained unemployed for quarter of a century, until I went to pension with this lousy pension, because nobody wanted educated persons. Well, if I have been retrained to some other qualification, or run away from Bulgaria, I would have found job, but how I was qualified to work in Bulgaria was not possible! No matter that I have been research assistant in BAS (Bulgarian Academy of Sciences), and even then with 2 university educations from 2 different countries. For this reason I can allow myself to squeeze here the next pun, hoping that you will get it that the she-democrat here personifies Miss Democracy. [The rhyme is of the type AAAAAA, 6 times '-atka'.]
When I see a woman-democrat,
and my … prick jumps, as French say, parat [ready].
Well, this is just for a minute,
yet is squirts the "whey"
with the winged idea,
to flatten this uterus!
Because the great "drunkenness" of our people [how the eminent writer and poet — just like me, Jotata, only more than a century earlier — Ivan Vazov has called the euphory of freedom], which I prefer to name oligophrenia (or chronical alcoholism, if you like it better in this way), was, and still is, the conviction that the communism is something bad, while the democracy is good, where the truth is that — you listen carefully —: the communist idea is the brightest idea in the human history, it dates back to primitive society, and is reflected in all religions, this is the idea of uniting of people, so that everyone works for the others, not for himself, and in this way to work for himself (not vice versa), only that its realization turns to be very difficult, due to inborn "defects" of the human being, but always is possible, and also necessary, to make something, this what is most suitable in the moment, for its realization (which can be reached only asymptotically); at the same time the democracy is a "great" … cheating, outwitting, swindling, delusion, etc., what in no way is right decision, yet exactly because of its illogicality it is the greatest, at least for the moment, invention in the social area!
Why, you will say? Ah, because the people in principle want to be deluded with something (the Latin proverb: Mundus vult decipi), they are not interested in the truth, the important thing is for the lie to be beautiful (like, e.g., equality, fraternity, freedom, etc.). And in addition to this the truth is never at the borders, it is in the middle, so that always, I stress always, is necessary to search for some moderate or medium decision, which in this case and for Bulgaria is exactly in this, to be present both, cares for all citizens on some minimally possible for the moment level, and also exploitation, in the meaning precisely of sucking out of the strength of everyone in some aspect, and every rushing only to the one extreme pole is harmful, vicious, silly, and downright stupid! More than this, this is the only possible way in the future, where the maximal exploitation will be chiefly … the self-exploitation, how does also every scientific or creative worker, or aristocrat, person who is both, well ensured, and with enough morality, in order to have been reached to the conclusion that life has no other meaning except this, to make for the others what you can, no matter that they most often do not value this properly. If via these cares for the others one does not win something also for himself, then the society, in which we live, is bad! Read you, please, these thoughts once more time!
So that I am convinced in the ideas that have caused the appearance of my party NAPUK [against all other parties], but let me repeat that I have not at all wanted to invent whatever parties and to become engaged with political questions, for the simple reason that the politics is the biggest known till the moment … whore! Yeah, but because the people are pretty limited to grasp the ambiguity of this statement, let me clarify that this is as bad as it is good; the good thing is because people like the whores, right, I also like them to a certain extent, and the bad is because they are, still, whores, again right, ah? And I, really, have not foreseen such evolution of the events, you read my first enormous Open Letter to our whole public (political parties, Parliament, media, etc.), and will see that I only hint about some questions, sketch them, don't want to lose the time of those people and deprive someone younger and more ambitious than me from the desire to show off with something, helping in this way to solve the messes by us. Because I, as intelligent person, think that there are obvious things, which everybody sees, and if he sits on his bottom parts and gives some thoughts, he will come to the same, or similar, ideas, like those, that have revolted in my head. And hoped to do with one and only letter, and only in Bulgarian. Yes, but no! Because this representative (I convinced myself in this), yet badly representing us, Bulgarian public, just touches this and that [we have such colloquial expression, probably supposing that one touches his … genitals], evades direct answer, says silly things to which even a pre-school child will nor believe (like our NSSI tries to deny — and for the moment succeeds in this — one basic principle of the Roman law, that if something is not explicitly denied, then it is allowed, and pure and simple forbids me to renounce my voluntarily paid self-insurance for one year), or even better — gives a deaf ear and reacts according with our saying "you speak to him, but he chews further" [supposing that he is a ruminating animal]!
Well, when it is so, then your Jota rolled up his sleeves and wrote whole 30 materials in 4 languages and placed them on a dozen foreign sites, in order that nobody will be in position to say, that he (Jotata) has not explained the things. I explained everything, and proposed even a party, NAPUK, but still think that the chief thing for which I have to be congratulated, is the invention of its … name, not of the very Manifest, Program, and Codex, which have simply flown in the air, in my view. Anyway, I did even this. And again nobody pays attention to me. When so I have begun to spit completely in the open, there appeared my 3 poetical collections cum prosaic explanations, as follows: "Mammyland", "Helter-Skelter" [in the original it is "Driving through the millet" what is idiom for doing something utterly non-carefully], and this "Barbaria" /'Varvaria', and I again vow not to write anything political, but this depends on the circumstances. Yet together with the spitting I want again to thank this whole Bulgarian Public for this, that it enlivens me in my old years, keeps my body tone, with each day passed I literally feel how I soar higher over my previous self, and long ago have left the colleague Botev behind. Here is the next expression of my warm feelings of gratitude to my barbarian fatherland [where the rhyme is ABABBABA].
BARBARIANS DIFFERENT EXIST
Yet my land Barbaria
I love till … insanity.
This is why I stood before the lectern,
in order to give a new meaning.
Because I, the insignificant "vegetation",
do not disturb my quiet life,
but give bold expression of my meaning,
even when I triple my sarcasm!
Because there are barbarians and barbarians, as is said, there are bad barbarians, for which the whole world takes us, but we are not such, and there are also some nice barbarians, like the Bulgarians, who do nobody other anything bad, and harm only themselves! Because this is what we are doing, we, for example, have wiped out our intellectuals because they were pro-communists, but … . Well, Gentlemen, we even in this regard act in barbarian way, nothing organized, everyone in his own way, amateurish performance, so to say — when even one … genocide we can't execute properly! You have to be ashamed, Sirs democrats! Look at the Germans in their time, they have decided that the Jews are good only to make soap from them, and — said and done, right? Or some Hongweibins in China (called so, I suppose, because they like to wave their "instruments" [what is a pun, in Slavonic they are 'hunvejbins' and I call them 'hujveibins' in the original, where 'veja' is to wave, and 'huj' is the man's prick]), and they have decided to punish a bit the intellectuals for this, that they have studied much instead of worked hard, and sent all professors and the like to cleanse the toilets in some factories and workers dormitories — and have done it! And what have we done? Well, nothing. If they survive from the air and the sun rays then good, but if not — ah, God has given, God has taken, isn't it?
And this is valid this time not only for the official public, this is true also for the common population, because I have some personal observations from my immediate neighbours in my entrance, who are ready to starve me by hunger if necessary, but to give some common money for something, what I do not use in such extent! ( Roughly speaking, to pay as for 4 persons, notwithstanding the fact that I use these services about 5 times less than the average, and also with income 7 times lower than the average, and so on — what makes more than 100 times more unjustified in regard of my person, because I have studied too much, and in result of this I live with miserable income. I intend to make a nice material out of this, in order to show that, contrary to our proverb, that the fish begins to decay from the head, it can decay equally well also from the belly or the tail, as long as it is on barbarian Bulgarian soil. ) So that we are, definitely, barbarians, from the head and to the feet, but are very good barbarians; if one behaves as silly as the masses then the latter will make nothing bad to him, and if he can't behave silly enough, or does not want to, or was with some morality, when there nobody by us has now this trait — well, then this is his own fault, yeah, because nobody has forced him to differ so strong from his environment.
Exactly in this restraining, as a beginning, reaction of the environment to the exceptional by us is expressed not only our barbarity (because these can be old persons, or poor, or ailing, or young, and so on, the important thing is that they are not like the masses), but also our stimulating effect on them (let them manage how they can, or let them express themselves as much as they can, as long as they do not interfere with the others)! Id est, we — roughly speaking — do not kill or maltreat the exceptional, no, we just leave them to perish by themselves (how have done in the antiquity by throwing some abnormally born children on some hill). And if they occasionally survive and succeed to stand out with something — well, mashallah then, ashkolsun [what are Turkisms meaning something like: praise be to God, evallah, halleluia]!
Well, for the moment I survive, enhance my poetical and other potentialities, and have decided for other 15 or so years to be thorn in the eyes of our stupid democracy and the entire Bulgarian nation, were it under this my name, or under a second, or a third. And why must I prick the people, ah? Well, because they, apart from insulting them and showing them in bad light, react to nothing, understand nothing else! You give them to fill their bellies! And if other people from outside will not begin to mock them and spit on them, they will never guess to change, so to say, even with a … my name [because this is what Jota means, the letter "j"] their behaviour. But I, how said above, love my Barbaria very ardently, only that I will prefer that we remain again with unique genes, yet to be a little bit less barbarous, if it may be put in this way, both different from the others, but for some good things be like them. Not that this is easy, but it pays to try. And exactly an educated person is rightly to oppose to … everything, when it is massively spread, in order to force as much as possible the masses to reach some middle point, because the truth, practically always, is in the middle, while the masses do not want, as a rule, moderate actions. Well, but such is the dialectics of the things, so that every person carries his cross.
Again Jotata, and again November 2020, Barbaria.