My church offers no absolute, (s)he tells me : "worship in the bedroom."

Why would I ever try to tame my demons?

Maybe I should tame them, maybe everything would be easier this way. Maybe I would be happier, maybe he would be happier. Maybe we would not fight and cry at the middle of the night. 

Demons do not equal happiness, I get that.

But demons do equal tons of notebooks, tons of thoughts, tons of poetry. I turn my wounds into words.

And sometimes, the demons' voices are not that terrible. Sometimes they scream but sometimes they sing. They are the singing in my head, the demons are my muse. They are a part of me, they have been creeping in the back of my head for more than twenty years now, who would I be without them?

Would I recognize myself without them? I do not think I would want to wake up one morning, being alone in my head for the first time and having to try and fill the emptiness. Who wants to wake up, after twenty-two years of nightmares and ask him/herself "Well old mate, who are you now?"

But for him...? 

Would he love me without them?

Would I love myself without them?

Sometimes they scream.

But... Oh dear...

You should hear them sing.