Family

I miss your smile, which is the very most precious thing I've ever seen. I miss your honesty, even when it hurts, because it helped me grow up. I miss feeling safe, when I'm around you, because I know you will always protect me. I miss your little attentions and the fact that I can talk to you about almost everything.

But I've made my choice. I left you, to chase my dream. But nobody told me it would be that hard to live without you. To meet new people. To realise that my dream is not as pure as I wanted to see it. To live, when you're not here. You are the only ones I can be really myself with, because no matter what, family always comes first. And now I feel like a traitor, because I didn't have the strength to stay with you. To see you suffer. To see you be happy. To laugh with you. To cry with you. To share.

I had no choice but to be selfish. I needed to experience life. And I am, even if it's hard, you'll never know. Because you're the very last persons who need to know when I feel bad. And even if I wanted to tell you, I couldn't. Because I smile at the thought of messaging you. I laugh when I talk to you. I want to see you so bad, but I can't because I know I'll cry. And I don't want you to feel bad for me.

Because in the end, I'm happy. I'm living my own life, my dream. I was just so unprepared to miss you. To realise how much I love you.