Love your devil

nesem

There is no number to the worlds that exist

All the universes that come to shapes and colours through our neurons

So many of them, that bang every second. Big bangs, tiny bangs, and crunches.

 

There are truths in all heads

And lies

And victims

And dreams

And wishes

And nightmares

But nothing matters more than story matters.

And no one really cares for heroes

We just want them, and then hate them for being saviours

Who do they think they are?

We don't need them.

Or do we

No we don't.

Or maybe… ?

 

We are creatures living between two signs of parenthesis

For a short while we run around naked and silly as crazy clowns, masterless puppies

Sometimes we want knowledge and rules

We look for books to tell us how to do things

When they do, we fear them

When they don't we hate them

Fuck we don't need them

Or do we ?

Who knows?

 

Sometimes we want to make things come true

Sometimes we don't care

But we are here it seems

Or are we really ?

Illusions documantaries say…

Quantum fucking jokes.

So we try, we let go, we try, we let go

Where to? We don't know.

 

We imagine witches, werewolves, vampires, shape shifters

We imagine richness, poverty, buildings and art

We imagine movies, and politics, and fun things, and foods and drinks

We explore the soils, we explore the skies, we explore our hearts and our excrements

We shed light to all corners of being we can reach out to

And sometimes we hide behind our own shadows, scared to be seen

We want to be loved

We want to be adored

And we dismiss all those who try to

Because if they do, they can't be that interesting

As if we knew what it really means : “love”

Four letters in this language, one syllabus, more or less in other idioms

LOVE

LAVA

It burns through our breaths and genes, and bras, and chests and tight little blue jeans

This one concept gets us all from one edge to an other

Makes us build and burn bridges

What a nice carrot stick for drunken dunkeys, right ?

But we digg this.

 

Then comes a day, without any preliminary announcement

Suddenly out of blue

Oh that unforgettable and bright day that burns your eyes and enlightens your inner darks

That timeless moment shows you everything!

Things you wanted to see

Things you wanted to run away from

And there is no way of unseeing!

Are you blessed or damned?

Who knows…?

What's done is done.

 

And it brings all to life, the best and the worst that could ever be

Negatives and positives balance each other, and the stillness shows it's face to you.

And in the midst of it all there is this cocktail of whisperings that will not leave you ever alone, so present, so everywhere, so here.

Your senses catch it all

 

And there you are, for the first time ever, in one single world of all possibilities.

With beautiful babies, and lovers, and generosity, and giving

With killers, and rapists, and shame, and guilt

And you are an actor in all sides of all scripts

You lied to people, you hid things, you hit things, and you broke things too

You touched bodies, and you touched yourself, and you screamed, and you sweated and you cried too

You did sports, you played, you learned things, you took drugs

Oh yes… you cannot lie, you did everything!

 

You loved, and enjoyed, and tried, and made efforts,

You acted good, you acted bad, really really bad.

But then suddenly there is no good, no bad, no more, no less.

+ and – and =

There just is this being.

A big perfect 0

And you realize there is nothing to do.

It all just is just a great big “is”.

A snake that just bit it's own tail

Ouroboros!

 

Now that you know there is nothing to know

Your old self tries to tell you

It's not enough!

I read this whole book so there would be an end!

What the fuck it shouts trembling through your veins!

What the fuck…

A growing part of you kind of smiles and doesn't care

Well, that's new you say calmly to yourselves.

When you realize there is not one “you” but so many that numbers wouldn't suffice

That angry bastard (as it calls itself)in your head tries to shout again

That's not enough!

But you very well know that to that guy, nothing will ever be enough

Because it's a consumer, it's an eater, it's a big fat starving destroyer

As you don't feed him any reactions

It starts dying

It tries on you all of the ever human invented mind games

If I die, you die too, it whispers

But you know now, that there is no birth and no death.

There is limitless being that only changes forms.

 

The creature's masks fall one by one like Russian dolls

It's a sweet little devil you think to yourself

Sweet sweet nasty devil

Sad and beautiful in it's ugliness

You love it. You love it so much. As much as anything.

And there you go… there you finally find the true meaning of that four-lettered word that gave you so much joy and so much pain.

I love you says your silence

And it finally finds it's ending.

Enough is enough

It just is.

 

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