Narcissus got drunk


“What's the point ?”  he asked me smoking his cigarette at the front door of the bar that would'nt let him back in..

"They don't want to play with me." he said.
"That guy over there owns “cool”.
The stupid crowd is fainting over him.
They're all disgusting and liquid all over him..
But I still fear them as they are the crowd, and one day they might be my audience.

Hell it feels good to be openly selfish and self-absorbed !
No wonder they don't want to play with me..
They wouldn't know how to, and I'd get bored.
Even if they'd let me in…
I don't want to just play.
I want to lead the game time to time you kow?
Ok.. all the time..
I'd let them if they had “inventive” in them.. I swear, I mean it.

What's the point to just exist?
Enough people already do that don't they?

My throat feels so tight.
How do I do to pass oxygen, smoke and drinks through that burning dragons' hole anyway ?
What I drink I recycle through my eyes though..
That's a good thing.
I give back some of the thing I take.

Oh I want to scream through the open doors of a driving bus !
I'm bored City ! I'm bored People ! You're all boring me !
I'm boring me..
And for now I am just one of You people.. still just existing..
Until I'm in the game.. that doesn't exist."

I had no answers to this monologue.

I was just starting to feel bored.

But mostly sad.

So I left him there looking at the stars as if he could see them, and went back in

for one last drink

so I could think.

(written after watching Inside Lewyn Davis)

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