Hysteria

I cannot focus on the future.
Why?
These times are hard.
I don't want to do anything;
My body is too weak.
I don't feel anything;
My mind is frozen.
When someone dies,
It feels like I was dead too.
I am constantly angry towards people,
I always cry to my family.
I eat less and less,
I do my daily exercices,
Looking at the scale,
Everyday.
I imagine myself as a thin woman
More and more,
Day after day. 
It makes me feel just angrier.
Am I mad?
Am I unhappy?
I cannot be unhappy and mad,
Because life gave me
All I need.
But something is missing.
There is a hole inside.